I Am Craving Physical Contact

OK, so I'm 56 years old and have been married for nearly 35 years. Problem is, the last 10 years of my union with my dear wife have been almost entirely devoid of intimate contact. The last 6 years has been a complete dry spell.

I have tried talking with her about this but it pretty much always comes back to her same response: "I'm sorry, but I'm just not interested in that anymore." It is frustrating because she just does not seem to want to even try to make it any better.

I guess I could understand her disinterest if I were hateful or abusive or a slovenly couch potato type, but I have worked very hard to take care of myself. And I more than hold up my end when it comes to the day-to-day stuff around home. I feel very much unappreciated but I'm afraid I'm way too old to consider divorce.

Anybody got any suggestions?

This page is a permanent link to the reply below and its nested replies. See all post replies »

megrose · 56-60, F

I'm sad to hear about your situation. Does she simply not care at all how you feel? I'm sorry.

Spartan92 · 61-69, M

@megrose I think she cares, but not enough to really do anything about it. She tries to compensate by being nice, cooking, and wanting to eat out and talk. I'm nice back because I'm a decent enough guy to know that raising hell about it and being a jerk is not going to help. But (and I've told her this before), her being a nice, pleasant housemate is not enough. Still nothing changes.

whatalife68 · 70-79, M

@Spartan92 I am living that life. We live as roommates with no sex or intimacy. Her doctor says there are no issues, she is healthy, but for over 15 years there has been zero intimacy. She just has no interest. As a hopeless romantic, Have tried many things to get her to respond but to no avail. We live as brother/sister. She does have mental health issues and takes meds to help her feel better. She is content keeping life just as it is even knowing how much I crave intimacy, didn't say sex, but the touching, kissing, caressing, cuddling and maybe slow dancing. I feel or you and your situation, but you are not alone.

Spartan92 · 61-69, M

@whatalife68 Yeah, I used to be on Experience Project back when it was still active. There was a group called "I Live in a Sexless Marriage" and probably 90% of the members of that group were men. I was surprised to see that some of the relationships had become sexless in as little as 5 years or less. I guess in a 35-year marriage I should expect a little less activity. But at least something would be kind of nice.