Celine Dion my heart will go on
and how does a moment last forever from live action beauty and the beast Disney film sum up the eternity of true love even when life moves on. You keep the love alive in your memories and spirit of the person stays with you. Even when they die or leave your life due to circumstances or separation, they will always be there in everything you do. It’s like having a handprint or tattoo on your heart which will never leave you. I think of my maternal grandparents who died. I’m lucky to still have my paternal grandparents and my parents, sister, uncles, aunts, and cousins. Eventually everyone is going to pass away and go separate directions. My ex boyfriend went on with his life and married someone else but I will always love him and I feel deep down he will love me too as his first love.now
He has found his second love in life in his wife. Our relationship had obstacles to coming together in real life that made it difficult to do so. It was mostly my fault I feel but Sujeet would say it’s no one’s fault things just didn’t work out. One aspect that kept us from coming together was money. I didn’t make any money because I was not working or finishing my education or my vocational courses. He was not getting paid enough at his job though he tried to save up to see me. I was mentally ill and still am and was not taking care of myself psychologically. And financially. I didn’t want to make him wait for many more years for me to get my life together and to be mature and responsible. There were a few reasons why things ended. All of which to do with me. He also had parents depending on him and his brother to help financially support them as they were aging. He couldn’t. Just leave his job like that and tourist visas, passports, etc. cost money I didn’t have. He wished to come to America as he thought India would be a huge shock for me but he depended on me to help him come here. I was also though he paid me a lot of attention at times lonely in an online relationship. I think if he left his family in India. And came to America. Full time he would be so homesick even if he talked to them regularly via Skype., WhatsApp, telegram, Snapchat etc. emails and phone calls and video. Calls and messages even on Facebook messenger. We had the odds stacked against us. Sometimes love is not enough to overcome obstacles in one’s path. He thought it would be better if I found someone in real life to love. He didn’t want to hurt me more than I already have been hurting. He even thought since we were 30+ at the time and it looked like the relationship might never. Become real life soon and we did not know if it was going to work or not. He told me long ago before I broke up with him he decided on me and to please stop asking him if he wanted to be with anyone else closer to home. He would get upset if I ever said that. He told me a couple of months after I broke up with him that if I didn’t finish my vocational courses he foresaw something like a breakup happening. Which is one of the reasons he wanted me to finish my studies. Also he wanted me to be independent and self-sufficient sooner. We had high hopes for each other. Well at least he found a wife and had some sort of happy ending after all. He deserves to be happy. He was and I still think is a great man. Even if he left me behind. He did it so his then fiancee/girlfriend would not get suspicious or upset about a relationship. That had finished before they met. I also think he needed a clean break from me to give his full attention to his new relationship. It hurts like hell still after two years. But there is nothing that can be done except to love him and keep his memories and spirit.alive after two years. I have to move on though. My heart will always go back to him. My heart will go on and on. I miss him but I have to let him live his life even if I am not a part of it even virtually anymore. I will always love him though and that will never change. I guess I’m just a glut for punishment in a way.
He has found his second love in life in his wife. Our relationship had obstacles to coming together in real life that made it difficult to do so. It was mostly my fault I feel but Sujeet would say it’s no one’s fault things just didn’t work out. One aspect that kept us from coming together was money. I didn’t make any money because I was not working or finishing my education or my vocational courses. He was not getting paid enough at his job though he tried to save up to see me. I was mentally ill and still am and was not taking care of myself psychologically. And financially. I didn’t want to make him wait for many more years for me to get my life together and to be mature and responsible. There were a few reasons why things ended. All of which to do with me. He also had parents depending on him and his brother to help financially support them as they were aging. He couldn’t. Just leave his job like that and tourist visas, passports, etc. cost money I didn’t have. He wished to come to America as he thought India would be a huge shock for me but he depended on me to help him come here. I was also though he paid me a lot of attention at times lonely in an online relationship. I think if he left his family in India. And came to America. Full time he would be so homesick even if he talked to them regularly via Skype., WhatsApp, telegram, Snapchat etc. emails and phone calls and video. Calls and messages even on Facebook messenger. We had the odds stacked against us. Sometimes love is not enough to overcome obstacles in one’s path. He thought it would be better if I found someone in real life to love. He didn’t want to hurt me more than I already have been hurting. He even thought since we were 30+ at the time and it looked like the relationship might never. Become real life soon and we did not know if it was going to work or not. He told me long ago before I broke up with him he decided on me and to please stop asking him if he wanted to be with anyone else closer to home. He would get upset if I ever said that. He told me a couple of months after I broke up with him that if I didn’t finish my vocational courses he foresaw something like a breakup happening. Which is one of the reasons he wanted me to finish my studies. Also he wanted me to be independent and self-sufficient sooner. We had high hopes for each other. Well at least he found a wife and had some sort of happy ending after all. He deserves to be happy. He was and I still think is a great man. Even if he left me behind. He did it so his then fiancee/girlfriend would not get suspicious or upset about a relationship. That had finished before they met. I also think he needed a clean break from me to give his full attention to his new relationship. It hurts like hell still after two years. But there is nothing that can be done except to love him and keep his memories and spirit.alive after two years. I have to move on though. My heart will always go back to him. My heart will go on and on. I miss him but I have to let him live his life even if I am not a part of it even virtually anymore. I will always love him though and that will never change. I guess I’m just a glut for punishment in a way.
31-35, F
