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People don't realize how much words can hurt

So it was just after my second heart surgery and Joel had found out that they were able to repair. And replace the valve, something they didn't think they could do. He was so excited and happy about this. He reached out to a former friend on here and sent a message. Saying, how happy he was in that he had a feeling that I was going to be around for a long time.

That person told him probably one of the cruelest things anyone could ever say. That he was being unrealistic and he needed to understand that I would probably only live 5 Maybe ten years. It absolutely crushed him.

He was so happy. He was so relieved. He had been worried for so long. And this person couldn't let him have his moment to enjoy the news. Honestly, I still think it upsets him today. Those cold words.

So remember be kind to people. Let them have their moment, even if you don't think it will last.It's not yours to take away.

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MyMonstersAreReal · F Best Comment

I’ve said it once and I’ll say it again. You ALL are better off without her!!!! I love you guys 🖤

Cigarguys · 41-45, C

@MyMonstersAreReal thank you for saying that! I really think he'll be better now that he's starting this new job and my recovery is getting easier. We love and care about you very much

bijouxbroussard · F

Wow…this was wonderful, positive news, a reason to be happy and optimistic. Why would anyone want to rain on his relief and joy ? I know how happy the rest of us all were to hear that you’re on the mend. 🤗

But with friends like that person, who needs enemies ? 🤨

Cigarguys · 41-45, C

@bijouxbroussard i asked her and she said she wanted him to be realistic and not get his hopes up

bijouxbroussard · F

@Cigarguys And so she had to be the one to dash those hopes ? Definitely not a friend. 😔

Cigarguys · 41-45, C

@bijouxbroussard not any more

Mamapolo2016 · F

Hope-thieves are the worst. Hope often resolves in truth. What you hope for often does happen.

I cannot comprehend the motivations of such a person. Especially when they have no skin in the game, only the dreary and violent need to destroy hope.

For me they are walking red flags.

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Cigarguys · 41-45, C

@Mamapolo2016 i know this last month was hard for him. But June is a new month. Im doing so much better everyday, he started his new job and we're going on a little get away next weekend. So things are looking good

Mamapolo2016 · F

@Cigarguys Excellent. There’s a song. “Yesterday’s gone and tomorrow is blind. I live one day at a time.”

Cigarguys · 41-45, C

@Mamapolo2016 im really thinking of getting that tattooed on my arm

CookieCrumbs · F

Honesty, in this case, is not always the best policy.

Maybe that fact was according to the research the person did on the Internet, maybe it’s their opinion from personal experience. It doesn’t matter. We don’t know what can happen in the future for other people. You could even outlive that person. :)

You said it best: “Let them have their moment… it’s not yours to take away.”

You are here and you are back. That’s what’s most important. You’ll get better and better.

Cigarguys · 41-45, C

@CookieCrumbs and she could have been totally right but in that moment why say anything at all. She was supposed to be a friend

CookieCrumbs · F

@Cigarguys
She could have been right, yes.

But sometimes, our maturity or common sense, should tell us when being right is not always the best thing to insist in a situation (such as the one you have here).
I’m sorry this happened to you.i hope that one day you and your friend could sort out this misunderstanding.

Cigarguys · 41-45, C

@CookieCrumbs i don't think there is any coming back from this.

craig7 · 70-79, M

That is a dreadful,totally heartless and unthinking observation to have been made.I hope that all goes very well for you,and I send you my best wishes from Australia.

Cigarguys · 41-45, C

@craig7 thank you

OlderSometimesWiser · F

I’m so very sorry. The absolute stupidity people are capable of exhibiting shouldn’t surprise me anymore yet it still does. Big hugs to both of you. 🫂

Cigarguys · 41-45, C

@OlderSometimesWiser i don't get it either.

OlderSometimesWiser · F

@Cigarguys Just wanted to add that there are times I really do want to reach through my computer screen and slap someone. This definitely would have been one of those times.

Cigarguys · 41-45, C

@OlderSometimesWiser yes i did too, he went from thinking I was going to die in surgery to finding out that they were able to fix everything. And he was so excited and then to have that said to him, it was just like running into a brick wall.

Northwest · M

People don't realize how much words can hurt

Or that's exactly what they were hoping would happen.

Cigarguys · 41-45, C

@Northwest he had been thought so much stess and fear and he has so happy. And she had to take it all way from him

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Cigarguys · 41-45, C

@GoFish i agree there was no reason for that to be said to him.

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