Breakup with 7 year boyfriend

We have been together since I was 16 I love him more than anyone in this earth the feelings i have for him are not happy ones it’s like someone died and that deep dark hole in your stomach. We went out for 4th of July and I noticed right away he wasn’t standing by me eating with me or asking me every now and then if I’m having a good time, I basically just felt like I was there so I started to drink then I got drunk and asked him to take me home and that I need to throw up before getting in but he wouldn’t let me throw up so I tried to hold it in all the way there but I couldn’t I was so sick he brought me home and then left without saying anything to me then he texted me and said we’re done.