I broke the person i love and wanted a life with
I've hit rock bottom, and I don't know where to start. At 32, I've lost everything, including the love of my life - someone who truly loved me and wanted to spend her life with me. Our relationship ended due to the lies I told.
I've been independent since I was 17, and by 23, I had achieved success - living in my dream apartment, with a thriving business, and life was great. However, my dating history is marred by people who were only interested in me because of my finances and what I could do for them, not because they genuinely loved me.
Last year, life took a drastic turn for the worse. I lost everything and had to move back home. I realized that I had never experienced genuine relationships, even friendships. I was always the one taking care of others, helping them through tough times, and providing financial support when needed. But when my circumstances changed, my so-called friends distanced themselves from me, as if the only thing that kept them in my life was what I could do for them.
In December 2024, just after losing everything, I met someone online. Things progressed quickly, but I lied about who I am. I pretended that my life was still the same, full of glamour and success, when in reality, I was struggling. My fear of being rejected because of my fallen circumstances drove me to lie, given my past experiences with people who only valued me for materialistic reasons.
She, on the other hand, was transparent about everything, living a simple life that I had never aspired to before. Yet, with her, it made sense. She opened up to me, sharing everything, and allowed me into her life without holding anything back. She had left a 10-year relationship, which was stable but lacked passion, and had stayed in it for over five years because it seemed sensible rather than starting anew.
When she discovered my lies, she was heartbroken. She's not doing well, and it pains me to know that my deception broke her. I never intended to hurt her, and I know I shouldn't have lied. She loved me perfectly, valuing me and treating me better than anyone ever has. She ended our relationship, which I understand, given that I betrayed her trust and caused her pain.
I hate that I hurt the only person who loved me sincerely, who wanted a life with me without caring about what I have. Whenever I'd share stories about my past life, she'd say how uninteresting they were and that I should focus on the present. She had no idea how difficult my current situation was.
I'm struggling to let go. We still talk whenever she calls, but our conversations always end in fights because I push for us to work on rebuilding our relationship. I've come to realize that I'm being selfish and that I should respect her decision, no matter how hard it is. I love her deeply and regret ever lying to her. She still says she loves me, but she can't be in a relationship with someone she doesn't trust. I'm consumed by regret over my lies.
I've been independent since I was 17, and by 23, I had achieved success - living in my dream apartment, with a thriving business, and life was great. However, my dating history is marred by people who were only interested in me because of my finances and what I could do for them, not because they genuinely loved me.
Last year, life took a drastic turn for the worse. I lost everything and had to move back home. I realized that I had never experienced genuine relationships, even friendships. I was always the one taking care of others, helping them through tough times, and providing financial support when needed. But when my circumstances changed, my so-called friends distanced themselves from me, as if the only thing that kept them in my life was what I could do for them.
In December 2024, just after losing everything, I met someone online. Things progressed quickly, but I lied about who I am. I pretended that my life was still the same, full of glamour and success, when in reality, I was struggling. My fear of being rejected because of my fallen circumstances drove me to lie, given my past experiences with people who only valued me for materialistic reasons.
She, on the other hand, was transparent about everything, living a simple life that I had never aspired to before. Yet, with her, it made sense. She opened up to me, sharing everything, and allowed me into her life without holding anything back. She had left a 10-year relationship, which was stable but lacked passion, and had stayed in it for over five years because it seemed sensible rather than starting anew.
When she discovered my lies, she was heartbroken. She's not doing well, and it pains me to know that my deception broke her. I never intended to hurt her, and I know I shouldn't have lied. She loved me perfectly, valuing me and treating me better than anyone ever has. She ended our relationship, which I understand, given that I betrayed her trust and caused her pain.
I hate that I hurt the only person who loved me sincerely, who wanted a life with me without caring about what I have. Whenever I'd share stories about my past life, she'd say how uninteresting they were and that I should focus on the present. She had no idea how difficult my current situation was.
I'm struggling to let go. We still talk whenever she calls, but our conversations always end in fights because I push for us to work on rebuilding our relationship. I've come to realize that I'm being selfish and that I should respect her decision, no matter how hard it is. I love her deeply and regret ever lying to her. She still says she loves me, but she can't be in a relationship with someone she doesn't trust. I'm consumed by regret over my lies.
