Why? - Just me venting

Why does it hurt so much?
I want to cry so bad, but I don’t want to around my family members.
Why did she break up with him?
If she didn’t, he would have never texted me.
If he never texted me, I would have never had feelings for him.
What is she plotting?
If you broke up with him, why do you want him back?
Why did you tell him to stop loving you? Why did you say he’s the right guy in the wrong time?
If you think this way, why are you talking to him again?
Why do you want him back?
Why are you letting him pick you up from home to go to school and drop you off?
What are you doing to him?
What if you hurt him again?
I wish I can ask you these questions, but I’m not friends with you.
We agreed to stay friends because I want him to be happy, and he seems happy with you. It hurts so much, but I am so mad at you.
What if you are just using him?
He seemed so down when he broke up with you and I helped him through it.
I don’t know if I can stand being his emotional backpack again. Not because I’m fed up, but because you might break him again. I hated seeing him so heartbroken.
Just, why?