I Am Heartbroken Right Now
I got a message from JP1119 a few weeks back. I read it, friend, and this one is for you
I met a guy named Todd on tinder back in April. I know it isn't the most romantic way to meet someone, but we were together for almost nine months. We have been planning on moving in together since I dropped out of college back in September. I had been working and saving my money since then. This time two weeks ago we were looking around at trailers and apartments for rent because the time was finally coming when we were going to move in. The stress of this situation was starting to get to me and one night, I had a bit of a meltdown and yelled at him over the phone. He was distant for 24 hours after that until he ended our relationship over two text messages and an awful phone call. He said that he couldn't do it anymore because if I got this stressed out during this major life decision, I would act like it every time. I didn't beg, but I tried to explain to him why he wasn't right in that situation. I am not the type of person that looses her cool easily. I am not the type of person who has an uncontrollable temper and yells all the time. I am a very rational person who is sensitive to the feelings of other people. I have a background in communications and I understand the subject, and the action, well. This happened of December 2nd. It is now December 11th. I find myself looking for excuses to text him. I ask him questions about my personal belongings, I let him know what i have of his, I let my friends text him to see if they will get a response. Anything to know weather or not he is upset over this. If he cares that he no longer has me in his life. I go through periodic bursts of hurt. I'll stop what I'm doing and cry uncontrollably. I'll check his facebook. I'll look at pictures of when we were happy together. We had so many good memories together. They were all so recent. They are all still fresh in my mind. I miss him every day, to the point that I have to remind myself that it's okay to be sad about it. It only happened 9 days ago. I will be moving into an apartment alone now. No Todd. I'm afraid of how difficult it is going to be to do something alone that we were so excited to do together.
I have come to the conclusion that he does not know what it means to love another person. Within twelve hours, the feeling he thought was love had dissipated completely. I do not think he did this on purpose. He is damaged, scared, and has a hard time trusting people. I think he took the feeling of a crush and interpreted it as love. He told me he wanted to spend the rest of his life with me and then left the first time I truly got angry with him. I will never get to touch him again. We will never interact in the same way we used to, and that is a hard fact to handle. I am a strong person with a hoard of supportive people in my life who are helping e get through this. I have true friends and a tight knit family. I am one of the lucky ones in that sense.
I am getting my coat back from him this Thursday, December the 15th. The thought makes me panic. I am going to have to see him and not touch him, hug him, kiss him, speak to him. Nothing will be the same as it was 2 weeks ago. I suppose I will post an update saying how that goes once it happens. I will be in my new apartment for one night. I failed a preliminary drug test and now only have a job in my home town, not the one I am moving to. Once I find a new job it will be easier. I will have my friends back as soon as winter break is over and they come back to campus.
Todd is not a nice person. Not one person in my life liked him or thought he treated me well. I can post more information on how he was as a person if anyone would like to know that as well.
To anyone who made it through this emotional, jumbled mess of structural and gramatical issues , thank you. I write about me life not only to help myself understand the things that are going through my head, bu to entertain you all.
I am more likely to write often if I think people are reading so if you like my stories comment and let me know. I don't respond to direct messages often but I do read them. I will answer question and take advice about this situation in the comments
thank you
I met a guy named Todd on tinder back in April. I know it isn't the most romantic way to meet someone, but we were together for almost nine months. We have been planning on moving in together since I dropped out of college back in September. I had been working and saving my money since then. This time two weeks ago we were looking around at trailers and apartments for rent because the time was finally coming when we were going to move in. The stress of this situation was starting to get to me and one night, I had a bit of a meltdown and yelled at him over the phone. He was distant for 24 hours after that until he ended our relationship over two text messages and an awful phone call. He said that he couldn't do it anymore because if I got this stressed out during this major life decision, I would act like it every time. I didn't beg, but I tried to explain to him why he wasn't right in that situation. I am not the type of person that looses her cool easily. I am not the type of person who has an uncontrollable temper and yells all the time. I am a very rational person who is sensitive to the feelings of other people. I have a background in communications and I understand the subject, and the action, well. This happened of December 2nd. It is now December 11th. I find myself looking for excuses to text him. I ask him questions about my personal belongings, I let him know what i have of his, I let my friends text him to see if they will get a response. Anything to know weather or not he is upset over this. If he cares that he no longer has me in his life. I go through periodic bursts of hurt. I'll stop what I'm doing and cry uncontrollably. I'll check his facebook. I'll look at pictures of when we were happy together. We had so many good memories together. They were all so recent. They are all still fresh in my mind. I miss him every day, to the point that I have to remind myself that it's okay to be sad about it. It only happened 9 days ago. I will be moving into an apartment alone now. No Todd. I'm afraid of how difficult it is going to be to do something alone that we were so excited to do together.
I have come to the conclusion that he does not know what it means to love another person. Within twelve hours, the feeling he thought was love had dissipated completely. I do not think he did this on purpose. He is damaged, scared, and has a hard time trusting people. I think he took the feeling of a crush and interpreted it as love. He told me he wanted to spend the rest of his life with me and then left the first time I truly got angry with him. I will never get to touch him again. We will never interact in the same way we used to, and that is a hard fact to handle. I am a strong person with a hoard of supportive people in my life who are helping e get through this. I have true friends and a tight knit family. I am one of the lucky ones in that sense.
I am getting my coat back from him this Thursday, December the 15th. The thought makes me panic. I am going to have to see him and not touch him, hug him, kiss him, speak to him. Nothing will be the same as it was 2 weeks ago. I suppose I will post an update saying how that goes once it happens. I will be in my new apartment for one night. I failed a preliminary drug test and now only have a job in my home town, not the one I am moving to. Once I find a new job it will be easier. I will have my friends back as soon as winter break is over and they come back to campus.
Todd is not a nice person. Not one person in my life liked him or thought he treated me well. I can post more information on how he was as a person if anyone would like to know that as well.
To anyone who made it through this emotional, jumbled mess of structural and gramatical issues , thank you. I write about me life not only to help myself understand the things that are going through my head, bu to entertain you all.
I am more likely to write often if I think people are reading so if you like my stories comment and let me know. I don't respond to direct messages often but I do read them. I will answer question and take advice about this situation in the comments
thank you
26-30, F
