I have had a lot of pain!

Yesterday was a me, myself and I day so I had a lot of time to think and meditate and it suddenly dawned on me that I find it hard to open my heart to people which isn’t a good thing because I have become numb.

I have had a lot of heartache and lost a lot of people one of them being my mum and any type of pain is hard to handle but when I lost my mum that pain nearly tore my heart apart.

Then I had the heartache of losing my twinflame and I think with so much pain I felt during that time I realised I didn’t want to feel any kind of pain from that day on so my heart built a steal wall around it and I shut myself off.

I guess I feared that pain because I had never ever felt anything like it and I truly believed that pain could break my heart in to tiny pieces so my body took over so I could cope and from then on I couldn’t feel nor show any kind of love.

Last night I dreamt of my twinflame and when I woke my heart ached and I realise I have to deal with the pain I have experienced and start to work on being able to be loved and to love.

This is another journey I have to take and one that will be extremely hard but will lead to a much more loving world for me!