I Am Feeling Heartbroken

I miss my XGF. It's a month away from being a year. Even now I still miss her. I will say that the first 2 months after our separation I felt like my mother died all over again. I was a walking carcass only once in my life have I felt this way after a brakeup and this was the second time. The irony of it is that I would always say it will never hurt the same as it did the first time. Yet I found myself in the same type of pain as I did the first time. But this time it hurt more. My X wasn't just ur typical X she was my best friend a part of me that u couldn't separate from and doing so felt like I lost a limb and just now I'm learning how to cope. She knew the ins and outs of me. But our demise was simply just bad timing and two different people. I will say that I learned so much from her. I could say that I was never the type of person to focus on my outer beauty or physique.I never cared about what I wore or how I looked. I truly never really cared much about myself or loved myself enough. I was abused when I was young and being "pretty" reminded me of that bad episode. Yet she made every effort to show me how pretty I really am and how I should embrace it. At times I felt hurt and judged by it because I felt like she didn't like me for who I was inside and I couldn't really see the big picture. After our brake up I came across a person just like me and then I realized what she meant by it. There she was this girl who was so beautiful but yet felt so ugly so she'd hide under all these clothes that didn't even fit her. I seen myself in her and tried to help. But realized I couldn't because like her I too had felt the same. We remained friends and since then I have started to invest in me. For this I am thankful to her while it did take another person for me to realize it. 🐛 Always seen it in me and now I'm starting to see it in myself. I will always be grateful to her for this. While she is with someone else now I hope she's really happy. And I hope that the girl she's with knows the type of girl she has because if she doesn't shes stupid.