I Have a Broken Heart

I suppose I should start off by stating the broken heart has been there for a very long time and each time something cruel or harsh is said the bandaid is ripped off again.

I thought I would become numb to your insults and constant belittling. I thought I could stay. Just a little longer. Just till all the kids are on their own.

I’m not so sure. I know the advice to not stay because of the kids. But, I need to protect them. He will get joint custody if we split and then who will intervene for them. I have nothing to argue with to be given sole custody. He’s everyone’s best friend and I’m the one who’s made the big mistakes. I had the affair. So I stay.

The black part inside me the one that tells me to just give up is threatening to consume me today. I know I can’t give in. I know my job here isn’t finished. I’m just so tired.