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I Am Feeling Heartbroken

Since I was little “I love you” has meant I will hurt you and abandon you. And they did . It has carried into my adult life. They still think I’m a doll or a thing to hurt and throw away.
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You're not the problem. It's them that doesn't understand the meaning of love. Sometimes we all just have a different definition of what love is and it's nearly impossible to find people with the same definition as ours.