I Have a Broken Heart

I have a broken heart. I am in so much pain that I really can't express it. My life feels numb to me. All I can feel is an immense pain in my heart.

I met this girl on June 4th 2015. We met online in 2015. I was scared to be in the relationship and she assured me to be in the relationship as she said she would be by my side. Of course we were in a long distance relationship. We were thousands of miles apart from each other. I wanted to marry her and have kids with her. I wanted to be with her. She eventually got sour in the relationship and made me feel worthless. Slowly it got worse as she kept ignoring me like I was a worthless person. I might not have the riches but GOD is a witness that I would do my best for her even when she never asked me anything. I love her and I still do. She slowly dumped me after ignoring me for no reason. I'm here upset and heartbroken. I can't sleep. I just feel pain in my heart. I had planned my life with her. All I wanted was her. I had fought with all my might just to be with her and after 4 years she tells me "she can't do it anymore". I completely understand her perspective and I wouldn't force someone to reciprocate what I feel but I feel hurt that when I was scared to be in the relationship she was the one who asked to me to stay because she was alone but now I'm left all alone crying. I feel so hurt and broken. I'm numb and it's been three months. I can't eat or sleep. I just want the pain to end

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kayoshin · 41-45, M

So did it ever occur to you that any of you two could meet a REAL PERSON that ticks all the same boxes PLUS has a real body you can hug and have the kids you dreamt of with? It was the most likely scenario yet you didn't think it would happen to you? Don't worry buddy everyone makes this mistake in real life dating too. Shit happens, people drift apart and no matter what you did it was unavoidable, she fell out of love or maybe she never was and just needed to escape her solitude? Who knows. Who cares. You need to gather yourself and learn from your mistakes. Live your next relationship in the NOW not in the future, enjoy your girl today don't be in the future with your imaginary kids, life is too unpredictable, even if the girl agrees to your silly dreams either or both of you could get hit by a bus tomorrow so LIVE TODAY.

Parker007 · 41-45, F

@kayoshin I wish I said what you just said... Well said😊

Nmads45 · 31-35, M

@kayoshin Thank you for your time. I totally accept what you're telling me. You are right in what you said. At the initial stage of the relationship I felt the same. I felt that this wouldn't be possible and it would be way too hard given the fact that I'm not rich. So I wanted to get out. I made multiple reasons to leave and she would tell me to keep faith. I shouldn't have believed her. Today I'm here fucked up with my life which is shit. As I said I didn't want to be in this because I knew the outcome. She said she would make it possible and we could do it. She had just got alone and she needed someone when I come to realise it now. She needed someone and I'm the one who she got. Now she's not alone I guess so she apparently can't do it. The funniest part is that I've felt like a bait the entire time. She wanted someone else and ranted about that person when she knew I loved her. Regardless, she did f me up

kayoshin · 41-45, M

I think the problem was your self esteem too. You're too worried about your economic status, you literally thought "I was a worthless person" and so on. Man love comes from within. You gotta love yourself (not talking bout handjobs here :) ) if you want someone else to love you. You can't let your self esteem and happyness depend entirely on another person. Your life isn't shit because she left, it's shut because you don't respect your own ass. Get yourself together and find a mirror and tell that guy in it that he's ok, tell him it's fine not to be rich (newsflash most of the world is in poverty, that is BILLIONS of people) it's fine to lose in love and he can find love again because he's worth it.

Nmads45 · 31-35, M

I agree with you. I need to work on my self esteem but she did something that really brought me down. I guess you're right. I need to work on myself now and move forward. Thank you so much for the advice though. It does mean a lot to me

kayoshin · 41-45, M

You're welcome man, these things happen but we move on and we grow from these if we don't obsess and get stuck on them. Don't worry about the pain, it just means that it was real to you, but you'll find something better in the future and this will be just a bittersweet memory soon enough.