I Am Feeling Heartbroken

[center][image deleted]
A Christmas Wish

all year long my heart it aches, it wishes to hear you, see you, hold you as you grow. this however wasn’t God’s plan and I do my best to accept it, but when Christmas comes my heart only wants to reject it.

born on Dec. 26 th too tiny and too young, I still prayed and prayed that a Christmas miracle would be done.

When they placed you in my arms that morning telling me it’s time to say goodbye, the only thing I could think is how I wished you were still safely tucked inside.

how I’ve wished a million times or more, that God would bring you back. I’ll settle for the knowledge my precious little girl that this my most heart felt wish for you is true.

this Christmas wish is the same as all those in the past. is that your healthy, happy and safe. That you are swaddled in the father’s arms until the day he calls me home and places you back in mine, there I’ll hold you evermore to never again say goodbye.[/center]

Top | Newest First | Oldest First

ChocolateSauce · 46-50, F

Hello Angeleyez,
I get exactly where your coming from. I lost a daughter 20 years ago and I think about Caitlyn everyday. I often wonder what she looks like, if she has dimples, like her brother, what color her eyes would be and the list goes on and on.

I went through that experience mainly alone, but not really alone because my best friend Dawn was there.

I didn’t deliver her, I went to the bathroom feeling as though I had to pee, when little did I know, my sack had broken and when I went to wipe myself I saw her tiny, tiny feet and almost legs.

I bleed a lot and had to go to the hospital and my best friend and I, we never told anyone. We lied and said that I fell really hard and couldn’t get up or something similar to that.

It took 15 years to tell someone, ex-fiancée and to start the healing process.

Five years ago my sister had a little girl and for the first time, in a longtime I walked in the girls side of Toys R Us.

Losing a child is like a hole in your heart that never closes, it just keeps getting bigger and bigger.

You have to talk to someone who can relate and start healing one issue at a time. I used to stay in bed all day and just cry and no one could ever figure it out. It hurts and it will always hurt but learning how to cope helps, trust me.

If you need someone to talk to, I’m here. Stay strong, or at least try. I know it isn’t easy.

Angeleyez · 51-55, F

@ChocolateSauce I am so very sorry for your loss, I appreciate you reaching out. I lost her 22 years ago on 28th she was two days old. It doesn’t matter how long we have them, from the moment we find out we are carrying them our heart belongs to them. It is the single most painful thing I’ve ever gone through, yet next to having my son the most amazing thing too. As bad as it hurts, I would do it all over again, just to hold her. Thank you for sharing a piece of your heart. God bless, take care.

~Angel

Highonheels · 51-55, M

I'm so sorry for loss sweetheart

SW-User

Hugs

Add a comment...