Here's something I've learned...
You really can't treat people like they're of equal value to you. If you try to, someone will always get hurt.
So it's better to look inside and decide on who matters more to you. If you want someone to stay, tell them so. If you want someone to come to you, say it. If you want someone to not misunderstand you, then explain yourself. If someone means more to you than others, learn their love language and express it in such. If you want someone back, apologize and hold on tight.
Honestly, I realize I'm just really tired. Tired of looking for something in people when it's something they don't have, or if they do have it, it's not something that's meant for me.
When I choose to be on someone's side, I don't feel tired of being there and loving and accepting them as they are. But I do feel tired that in order to be able to give such a love, I constantly change myself to be able to tolerate more of what hurts and give more. Always more.
Because that's the thing about love. We try to love in such a way that we think they need to be loved.
So the next time I choose to love someone, I wish it is someone who would let me rest and just be. Someone who would not allow me to give what would hurt and cost a piece inside me to be broken.
Someone who is already unbroken, so I wouldn't have to bleed just to hug him.
Because most people around me don't even know how to give good hugs. But see, I know what it feels like to be hugged like that. I'm fortunate enough to know the warmth and assurance that being hugged by someone who genuinely wants to tell you 'Everything's okay.' because they intend to make it so for you would bring.
And the thing that hurts is...maybe I have started to believe that when that person died, there is no else who can give something so precious. That such kind of love may no longer exist in one person alone.
In a lifetime? Or even in a thousand of it? I don't think it exists. Maybe in a collection of little and slightly bigger precious things, maybe something at least close to it would come out. But then...but then...what about what I'm looking for?
So it's better to look inside and decide on who matters more to you. If you want someone to stay, tell them so. If you want someone to come to you, say it. If you want someone to not misunderstand you, then explain yourself. If someone means more to you than others, learn their love language and express it in such. If you want someone back, apologize and hold on tight.
Honestly, I realize I'm just really tired. Tired of looking for something in people when it's something they don't have, or if they do have it, it's not something that's meant for me.
When I choose to be on someone's side, I don't feel tired of being there and loving and accepting them as they are. But I do feel tired that in order to be able to give such a love, I constantly change myself to be able to tolerate more of what hurts and give more. Always more.
Because that's the thing about love. We try to love in such a way that we think they need to be loved.
So the next time I choose to love someone, I wish it is someone who would let me rest and just be. Someone who would not allow me to give what would hurt and cost a piece inside me to be broken.
Someone who is already unbroken, so I wouldn't have to bleed just to hug him.
Because most people around me don't even know how to give good hugs. But see, I know what it feels like to be hugged like that. I'm fortunate enough to know the warmth and assurance that being hugged by someone who genuinely wants to tell you 'Everything's okay.' because they intend to make it so for you would bring.
And the thing that hurts is...maybe I have started to believe that when that person died, there is no else who can give something so precious. That such kind of love may no longer exist in one person alone.
In a lifetime? Or even in a thousand of it? I don't think it exists. Maybe in a collection of little and slightly bigger precious things, maybe something at least close to it would come out. But then...but then...what about what I'm looking for?
