how to take it easy on my beloved mother and not lean on her so much for mental health support
i have a great mum, i'm very fortunate, my mothers elderly now and for years she has been a wonderful support for my numerous mental disorders, for years i always talked to her about my obsessive 'fixations' 'ideas' or paranoid ideas i'm tormented by, there always the same reoccurring ideas i've had for years and years....ideas like; i'm being prevented from having a girlfriend of my liking, because women/ girls are being told to not associate with me......the reason i've thought that is because i've never had a steady relationship, never had a girlfriend and mostly never had the interactions i wanted?.................so this constant idea that 'that' is being stopped from happening by people, like a conspiracy?
my mum says to that ' no, no ones's preventing girls from associating with me or stopping that from happening, it's my mental health disorders, antisocial problems which have stopped it'.
then the other fixations i've had a long time as well that people are talking about me, telling people in society false information about me, and that now people have a false perception of me because of that?? - then once again my mother and other loved ones said ' none of these ideas are true, that it is all paranoid delusions '.
and my mother when she reassures me takes away these paranoid ideas, but unfortunately they keep coming back...and my mother keeps on having to reassure me and she get's drained from doing it? then i feel terrible about myself because of how close i am to my mother and adore her, and find it heartbreaking i cause her to be drained? having a guilty conscience too.
so how can i take on board all the good reassurance my mother and other loved ones have given me to combat these reoccurring paranoid beliefs, and not going back to my mum all the time for the same reassurance, that she's give me many times before?
i just want to be free of these paranoid fixations i've had all my adulthood. anyone understand what i'm saying??
my mum says to that ' no, no ones's preventing girls from associating with me or stopping that from happening, it's my mental health disorders, antisocial problems which have stopped it'.
then the other fixations i've had a long time as well that people are talking about me, telling people in society false information about me, and that now people have a false perception of me because of that?? - then once again my mother and other loved ones said ' none of these ideas are true, that it is all paranoid delusions '.
and my mother when she reassures me takes away these paranoid ideas, but unfortunately they keep coming back...and my mother keeps on having to reassure me and she get's drained from doing it? then i feel terrible about myself because of how close i am to my mother and adore her, and find it heartbreaking i cause her to be drained? having a guilty conscience too.
so how can i take on board all the good reassurance my mother and other loved ones have given me to combat these reoccurring paranoid beliefs, and not going back to my mum all the time for the same reassurance, that she's give me many times before?
i just want to be free of these paranoid fixations i've had all my adulthood. anyone understand what i'm saying??
46-50, M
