I feel so shitty 😭😭😭

I love my boyfriend so so so much and I'm genuinely heartbroken 😭 I went to a Halloween party over the weekend and he couldn't come cos he was working overtime and I accidentally cheated on him again 😭 how do you explain to him that I let four men cum in me in one night 😭 thankfully one of them was my ex so I technically only cheated three times but still I'm so mad at myself. Also we're trying for a baby so I'm scared that I might be pregnant with someone else's baby and have to get an abortion like last year 😭