comittment is not my thing but i wish it was

i just broke up with my boyfriend of 2 years for a number of reasons but one of them was that i noticed that in all my previous relationships the biggest issue was me feeling trapped
it just feels like being suffocated i cant stay in one place with one person forever
everytime he suggested living together or whatever couples say i felt more and more chained to him
i wish i could have a normal relationship without me feeling like this
i see my friends and their cute ass relationships and im like i wish that was me though its fine maybe i am not made for dating though it still affects me i know i am loveable i just wish i could give it back constantly and without feeling trapped