It's possible to think that some people would be surprised by how much I miss them. But in the end and even after the end..., all I could have ever been was the me I was capable of being at the time and in that moment. It's too bad it wasn't ever a good enough version of me to forestall an ending that should have never arrived on our Love's doorstep.
But it did and now even as you promise to never say goodbye to me, I can see you saying goodbye. in a slow but definite fashion as you cut me off from every first world method of communication.
It's truly a sad fact that things are the way they are. Sadder still that despite your claim that you don't blame me all the perceived fault remains mine. I'm not sure what the timeline is for proper healing and growth and I'm not sure that you can dictate that the way you just tried to. I'm hurting and healing and I won't remain chained down by a dream you've abandoned, and I won't just sit here in the mud of all the rain that fell upon the earth of our love.
After all my apologies, it was deemed that I didn't even deserve a simple one. That told me all I needed to know after all the ups and downs.
I'm on my way towards whatever the future holds for me and I wish you nothing but the best of all things. But life wanes and I just want to say that I never tried so hard to be a better communicator than I did for you. But you basically abandoned me in that course too and never made time to practice the one thing you demanded from me.
I hope you find the guy that has it all figured out and can read your mind the way I wish I could have. The way you need a man to.
