Recently I've been wondering about this; is it madness to keep love in ones heart, or to keep on loving someone? That particular question let me atleast explore well the idea that intense, persistent love can be perceived as irrational or even bordering on madness.
While love can evoke strong emotions and seemingly illogical behaviors, it's not inherently a mental illness. Something I need to keep on reminding myself about. Of course, one needs to differentiate it from the overwhelming desire to possess and protect the another.
There's even a whole psychological study done on this subject matter by the University of Edinburgh. The question that I'm left with after reading it is why am I left with madness because of love? It can't just be something that happened in one brain, can it?
I mean, everyone can recognize that at the beginning of any relationship, one often loses touch with reality. It's a hard time distinguishing even between fact and fiction. People invent stories in their head and convince themselves that they’re true. Good judgment and patience fly out the window.
One can't deny that every case is different and should be looked at separately. Love can be built through shared experiences, emotional vulnerability, and deep conversations, all of which can happen without meeting up and with communication staying online for example.
Mind you, when one isn't physically with someone, one might fill in gaps in ones knowledge with ones own imagination and idealization of the person, which can contribute to many strong feelings. But might one not do that after having met numerous times either?
No shame about it though, it's indeed possible to fall in love with someone one met online and maintain those feelings over years. Online relationships, like any other, can develop into deep connections and love, even if physical proximity is lacking.
There are then also the usual conditions for it to be considered more normal than not. Regular and meaningful conversations, sharing of thoughts and feelings, and building a strong foundation of trust are crucial.
May I conclude then that love is always genuine for the majority of us, and that any success will rather depends on the people involved and their commitment to nurturing the connection? Is it mad to keep loving a person? My own idea is what is really pure shouldn't contribute to madness
The topic of love and what you will do I think no study will ever find. I don't have the time right now, but I had a partner once I loved, she had an affair while she could have seen I was grieving when my father died. It was the time I first I had to bear my own hurt (thats what grief is) came to hurt me. I knew every word to hurt her and one afternoon I chose to let my words loose with her of how she hurt me which from all she dealt with her parents, the trauma of watching her mom become schizophrenic, her father cheating with her moms best friend. My ex knew the intimate ties as a child what happened to her mom living with her while her mom was a single mom from both adultery, betrayal where my girlfriend as a child had to field police away so she could have her mother.
It might feel as lunatic, insensitive but I framed what she did to me in the hurt she felt as a child. Who I found with how I confronted her with my feelings was a woman loving, bare with her emotions, yes I felt her hurt of how she hurt me (she did love me), but my words that were emotional, hungry for understanding, and letting out my emotion found her naked in emotion.
@awildsheepschase Without telling everyone too much, I know what you mean there. In short, still with someone who abused me (and she was abused by her family) and my heart is still with someone who dropped me online one quarter of a century ago
@val70 Some stories don't need to be said to be understood. I left who hurt me, Id never say she abused me, even though she was abused by her mom (but how do you measure mental illness and her mom having schizophrenia). It might come to you don't deserve this yourself, but somewhere I understood her. Even after we ended things, my choice and I dont want her face this way in image right now, I knew her honest cry when we held each other many months after we ended where she said to me, 'David, you are my best friend, and wherever we go and where we find ourselves, I need you to know you are my best friend'
