I love him
I'm just ranting about this classmate. And saying how much I love him.
I've had this classmate for a long time. Very. I've had the same classmate for years because I'm in a special section, so I pretty much know everyone in my class. Well, this classmate, his name is Kyle.
Kyle's very popular. He's smart, his records are excellent. He can be mean, but he's very kind either way. He's popular, but he has very few friends. He has a high authority in school, being the president of the student council. He's cool, I swear. The only problem with him is that he's not very good at reacting with people confessing to him.
Are you still reading?
3 years ago, I confessed to him. We were pretty young at the time so he wasn't very accepting of my confession. All he said to me is that “he wasn't ready” for a relationship. So I just nodded at him and respected his decision. He didn't have a problem with me praising him, complimenting him and gifting him things in special occasions because that boosted his ego a lot. But his reactions, or the lack of, to the things I did was very disappointing. I expected a lot from him, maybe just a little heartwarming speech saying his gratitude. But no, he basically acted like I never really gave him anything.
I'm good at drawing, I'm considered as the class artist. He praises me a lot for it, so I draw him a lot. That's really just all the appreciation he gives me. I am thankful either way. I am grateful for the little things he gives me. It doesn't really matter.
But even though he isn't very responsive to the things I do for him, I still try to persuade him. I've known him for years, and almost 95% of those years I tried to pursue him. He haven't told me to stop, that he's uncomfortable, so I'm not going to give up. I've had many competitions, lots of women wanting him too. But, I'm unbeatable. I've managed to take all those women down. But as a downside, they like me now.
My bad, I might be sounding boring right now.
I've had lots of suitors, most of them women. But I didn't really let them get to me too much. I still love Kyle. I'm loyal, even though we aren't exactly a thing. I've had many promises to him, things like “I'd wait for you no matter how long.” or maybe “Even if you like somebody else, I'm not giving up, but I'm giving you the space you need.” I've recieved lots of gifts. They were determined, just like me. It's flattering, since I never exactly felt that appreciated.
Back to Kyle. I'm very respectful towards my pursue for him. I let him have his own life and I don't push myself too much. I give him the reassurance he needs, that he doesn't need to be reciprocal or feel forced with my advances. Through the years, my intentions became more and more selfless.
The very first year I've loved him, all I thought was that I wanted him. He was “perfect.” But as more years grow by, I've realized that he's human too. He has flaws. He's imperfect, and I love every single flaw he has. The “I want him” mindset also vanished in me. I just want him to be happy. I'd love to be his, but I wouldn't force myself onto him. I let him pick whoever he wants to, but I always make sure that the person will take care of him. I don't want him crying for another person.
Heya, wanted to see if you're still reading^^
I help him with everything. Wether it's something personal, something simple, academics, family, friends or whatever. I have no problem with helping him.
I think my love for him is special. I don't want to exaggerate. It isn't just the gifts or my attitude towards him. I actually changes as a person, and he was the reason.
When I was very young, maybe it was the 2nd year we were classmates or maybe the 3rd, I was really depressed. I barely had any motivation for anything. My friends didn't exactly help me out. Neither did he. But for some reason, when I started catching feelings for him, I wanted to be the best person I could be. My personality changed, from the aggressive child who throws tantrums to a... Much better version. I learned how to manage my anger, my attitude. I became respectful, more open-minded. I understood every prespective of the people around me. My academics, my physical and mental state, my hygiene, and much more improved, all because I wanted to change for him.
Soooo.... How was your day?
He was the reason and he was the way for me to find more reason. My family, my friends, academics, my dreams, my ambitions, what I would want to be, my wishes, my country. I did everything I did for it all, and he was the road that led me there.
Although, this change had a specific impact on me. Lately, I've been struggling with keeping myself together (once again). I couldn't bring myself to have any motivation. My friends did everything they could do to make me lively again, but it doesn't work. But whenever I get tasks that requires me to spend as much time with Kyle (alone), my mood instantly gets better. It's just him that actually makes me motivated with my everyday life. Spending the slightest time with him makes my whole day. But this gets annoying. Even if I try (without him), I could barely bring myself to be happy, even if I spend time with my friends and family.
I don't want to be obsessive. I want my love for him to be as innocent as possible. I don't want to lust over him, be possessive and force him to be with me. I want to respect his privacy and his decisions. My classmates are always the possessive type and I don't want to be like that.
Thank you for reading. :) There will be more rants like this soon.
I've had this classmate for a long time. Very. I've had the same classmate for years because I'm in a special section, so I pretty much know everyone in my class. Well, this classmate, his name is Kyle.
Kyle's very popular. He's smart, his records are excellent. He can be mean, but he's very kind either way. He's popular, but he has very few friends. He has a high authority in school, being the president of the student council. He's cool, I swear. The only problem with him is that he's not very good at reacting with people confessing to him.
Are you still reading?
3 years ago, I confessed to him. We were pretty young at the time so he wasn't very accepting of my confession. All he said to me is that “he wasn't ready” for a relationship. So I just nodded at him and respected his decision. He didn't have a problem with me praising him, complimenting him and gifting him things in special occasions because that boosted his ego a lot. But his reactions, or the lack of, to the things I did was very disappointing. I expected a lot from him, maybe just a little heartwarming speech saying his gratitude. But no, he basically acted like I never really gave him anything.
I'm good at drawing, I'm considered as the class artist. He praises me a lot for it, so I draw him a lot. That's really just all the appreciation he gives me. I am thankful either way. I am grateful for the little things he gives me. It doesn't really matter.
But even though he isn't very responsive to the things I do for him, I still try to persuade him. I've known him for years, and almost 95% of those years I tried to pursue him. He haven't told me to stop, that he's uncomfortable, so I'm not going to give up. I've had many competitions, lots of women wanting him too. But, I'm unbeatable. I've managed to take all those women down. But as a downside, they like me now.
My bad, I might be sounding boring right now.
I've had lots of suitors, most of them women. But I didn't really let them get to me too much. I still love Kyle. I'm loyal, even though we aren't exactly a thing. I've had many promises to him, things like “I'd wait for you no matter how long.” or maybe “Even if you like somebody else, I'm not giving up, but I'm giving you the space you need.” I've recieved lots of gifts. They were determined, just like me. It's flattering, since I never exactly felt that appreciated.
Back to Kyle. I'm very respectful towards my pursue for him. I let him have his own life and I don't push myself too much. I give him the reassurance he needs, that he doesn't need to be reciprocal or feel forced with my advances. Through the years, my intentions became more and more selfless.
The very first year I've loved him, all I thought was that I wanted him. He was “perfect.” But as more years grow by, I've realized that he's human too. He has flaws. He's imperfect, and I love every single flaw he has. The “I want him” mindset also vanished in me. I just want him to be happy. I'd love to be his, but I wouldn't force myself onto him. I let him pick whoever he wants to, but I always make sure that the person will take care of him. I don't want him crying for another person.
Heya, wanted to see if you're still reading^^
I help him with everything. Wether it's something personal, something simple, academics, family, friends or whatever. I have no problem with helping him.
I think my love for him is special. I don't want to exaggerate. It isn't just the gifts or my attitude towards him. I actually changes as a person, and he was the reason.
When I was very young, maybe it was the 2nd year we were classmates or maybe the 3rd, I was really depressed. I barely had any motivation for anything. My friends didn't exactly help me out. Neither did he. But for some reason, when I started catching feelings for him, I wanted to be the best person I could be. My personality changed, from the aggressive child who throws tantrums to a... Much better version. I learned how to manage my anger, my attitude. I became respectful, more open-minded. I understood every prespective of the people around me. My academics, my physical and mental state, my hygiene, and much more improved, all because I wanted to change for him.
Soooo.... How was your day?
He was the reason and he was the way for me to find more reason. My family, my friends, academics, my dreams, my ambitions, what I would want to be, my wishes, my country. I did everything I did for it all, and he was the road that led me there.
Although, this change had a specific impact on me. Lately, I've been struggling with keeping myself together (once again). I couldn't bring myself to have any motivation. My friends did everything they could do to make me lively again, but it doesn't work. But whenever I get tasks that requires me to spend as much time with Kyle (alone), my mood instantly gets better. It's just him that actually makes me motivated with my everyday life. Spending the slightest time with him makes my whole day. But this gets annoying. Even if I try (without him), I could barely bring myself to be happy, even if I spend time with my friends and family.
I don't want to be obsessive. I want my love for him to be as innocent as possible. I don't want to lust over him, be possessive and force him to be with me. I want to respect his privacy and his decisions. My classmates are always the possessive type and I don't want to be like that.
Thank you for reading. :) There will be more rants like this soon.
