Wait What?
Tell me why this man decided to ask why I got married at my age instead of having many lovers.
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SandWitch · 26-30, F
He asked you that question because he made the assumption that a woman cannot have many lovers if she gets married.
SandWitch · 26-30, F
@Tachyeon
Actually, I think it's closer to the opposite of what you're saying here when it comes to marriage. Guys are really very predictable when it comes to this issue of having "a certain body count" to a woman's credit, but it depends on how they intend to use the information for their own gain.
I have found that any guy who wanted to date me would be more inclined to date me if he found out that I knew a lot of people and that I dated a lot of guys, only because I'm a very social person. The more guys I dated, the more requests I'd receive from guys wanting to take me out someplace. The more popular I became among men, the more popular I'd become by default.
But when it comes to a guy looking for a marriage partner, any guy I've known has made it clear to me that he'd never marry a girl who slept around a lot, presuming his definition of a woman dating lots of guys means that she's sleeping with all of them. Just sleeping with a few of them doesn't mean all of them, right?! 🤭
So, if I WAS sleeping around a lot, that would automatically disqualify me as a potential marriage partner for most guys because they don't want to be associated with marrying the town whore, so to speak.
But if I wasn't sleeping around a lot, in a guy's mind, that would automatically disqualify me from holding a position of 'popularity' among his male peer groups, which means he'd be less-likely to ask me out on a date because nobody else was interested either!
The real question becomes, what is a guy's motive for asking the question of why you got married at your age instead of having many lovers? His question isn't about you, it's actually about him!
Actually, I think it's closer to the opposite of what you're saying here when it comes to marriage. Guys are really very predictable when it comes to this issue of having "a certain body count" to a woman's credit, but it depends on how they intend to use the information for their own gain.
I have found that any guy who wanted to date me would be more inclined to date me if he found out that I knew a lot of people and that I dated a lot of guys, only because I'm a very social person. The more guys I dated, the more requests I'd receive from guys wanting to take me out someplace. The more popular I became among men, the more popular I'd become by default.
But when it comes to a guy looking for a marriage partner, any guy I've known has made it clear to me that he'd never marry a girl who slept around a lot, presuming his definition of a woman dating lots of guys means that she's sleeping with all of them. Just sleeping with a few of them doesn't mean all of them, right?! 🤭
So, if I WAS sleeping around a lot, that would automatically disqualify me as a potential marriage partner for most guys because they don't want to be associated with marrying the town whore, so to speak.
But if I wasn't sleeping around a lot, in a guy's mind, that would automatically disqualify me from holding a position of 'popularity' among his male peer groups, which means he'd be less-likely to ask me out on a date because nobody else was interested either!
The real question becomes, what is a guy's motive for asking the question of why you got married at your age instead of having many lovers? His question isn't about you, it's actually about him!
Tachyeon · 26-30, F
@SandWitch I knew it was only about him on the get go. I can't put it into words as well as you did, but for a line like that it was never meant for a right or wrong answer lol, he would've had a response eitherway to slither his way into a leading conversation which I definitely am not looking into.