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my head is full of emotions for this girl, how to get her out of my head? i keep thinking about her

something happened. long story short, Jade (a friend that i like) invited me to a party, from the messages it looked like she wanted to spend some good time with me. i got way too drunk and started kissing some other fat girl lol. idk how she feels about it, i did kiss her on the cheek but that's nothing compared to how i was kissing that other girl. i feel bad because she's the one i wanted to kiss :( but i was toooo drunk. i don't even remember most of the night and not even how i started kissing that girl in the first place. by the time i came to Jade and the rest of the friend group she stayed for some time but then unexpectedly told me that she is tired and has to go.
i can't stop thinking about her. i don't even know if she likes me because if that's the case thinking about her is simply futile.
i spoke to her on chat the next day and talked to her, she was chill about it since we are just friends. i mean when she kissed another guy in front of me i felt bad but i acted cool.

she knows i was way too drunk but i just hate that i have these feelings and i hate what happened but i can't change that.

i am not saying i have to have her no matter what, i am willing to let go. i just can't find peace in the fact that it could have been her, i could have been kissing her and but that's not what happened

if you suggest i should move on, tell me how lol i know it will go away in a couple of days i already know that but it is occupying my head too much
if you suggest i do something about it, tell me what should i do
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Tetsuya · 51-55, M
stop drinking to get drunk
apologize to Jade for being an ass
and get your shit together
Number5 · 22-25, M
@Tetsuya i didn't realize i would get so drunk. The whiskey is kinda strong, usually i can handle this much alcohol but this was somethin else

Me and Jade are not dating so what's there to apologize for, i did tell her how embarrassed i was about it and that i wanted to spend that time with her instead. Is there more i should say

Yeah i need to get my shit together, idk what happened i don't remember much of that night 😅