Poll - Total Votes: 62 See Poll Options
41-45, M
CountScrofula · 41-45, M
@Rhode57 Very sorry it went that way.
CountScrofula · 41-45, M
This message was deleted by its author.
CountScrofula · 41-45, M
Starcrossed · 41-45, F
It's complicated. Most things are really great. Some terrible shit happened in our past that I can't forget. I feel permanently changed about how I feel about him, it literally affects me physically. There's financial entanglements & commitments, coparenting, a shared overlapping social circle and little familial support. There's codependency but also financial security and stability and emotional support.
Gangstress · 41-45, F
seana · 26-30, F
Very happy in mine. My husband was my first boyfriend as a young teenager and although we were off and on for a few years I knew we would end up together once we got a bit older and things settled. We got married a few years back and I couldn’t imagine being with anyone more suited to me.
Straylight · 31-35, F
SumKindaMunster · 51-55, M
CountScrofula · 41-45, M
@SW-User I cannot stress how happy I am for you two
robingoodfellow · M
Happiness is a transitory feeling . Often times we can experience lack of it in many relationships beyond romantic ,including life ,but it doesn't necessarily mean it is any less worthy or great than at times happiness is present .
As for my relationship ,or the one I have been in for the past three years , despite its nonconformity and a lot of difficulties that naturally come with even the most convenient relationships ,I'm still very much in love with them and my love for them has grown deeper over time , and I believe I will continue to love them as a person even if my relationship with them fails so that is all that is important to me. I have experienced a lot of greatness and happiness and I think I will continue to experience that with them but those feelings are the result of work from both parties and also the presence,at times,of the unpleasant ones
As for my relationship ,or the one I have been in for the past three years , despite its nonconformity and a lot of difficulties that naturally come with even the most convenient relationships ,I'm still very much in love with them and my love for them has grown deeper over time , and I believe I will continue to love them as a person even if my relationship with them fails so that is all that is important to me. I have experienced a lot of greatness and happiness and I think I will continue to experience that with them but those feelings are the result of work from both parties and also the presence,at times,of the unpleasant ones
CountScrofula · 41-45, M
@PepsiColaP I really appreciate your perspective on this - and the understanding that your relationship setup is unconventional and even hard to sustain but you are in love and it's goddamn worth it is a really powerful message. Not everything has to be fairytale it just has to be right for you.
HannibalAteMeOut · 22-25, F
Queendragonfly · 31-35, F
CountScrofula · 41-45, M
@Queendragonfly THERE IS NOW
Queendragonfly · 31-35, F
@CountScrofula Thanks!
SailorMarz · F
CountScrofula · 41-45, M
@SailorMarz She seems like the best thing to happen to you in a long time.
SailorMarz · F
@CountScrofula she really is. She makes me laugh so hard and tries too hard to treat me so well, like wtf is that about?
CountScrofula · 41-45, M
@SailorMarz Turns out you're pretty awesome!
Pinkstarburst · 51-55, F
CountScrofula · 41-45, M
@Pinkstarburst I'm sorry to hear that, hope things work through.
WhateverWorks · 36-40
SwampFlower · 31-35, F
CountScrofula · 41-45, M
@SwampFlower Good ol murder waffles, that date worked the hell out!
SwampFlower · 31-35, F
@CountScrofula It feels like forever but also like...5 minutes ago.
CountScrofula · 41-45, M
@SwampFlower Yes, agreed. My long term memory is weird because its good but has no sense of distance.
CountScrofula · 41-45, M
@Nadie You need to love yourself a lil more girl
CountScrofula · 41-45, M
@BritishFailedAesthetic Greatest curse is you don't just marry your wife, you marry her family. I'm pretty lucky that my in-laws are decent people.
@CountScrofula Very true, more relevant in some cultures rather than others.
Good to hear your in laws are decent as they can really fcuk up a marriage.
Good to hear your in laws are decent as they can really fcuk up a marriage.
Gangstress · 41-45, F
@CountScrofula sounds a lot like us tbh
SumKindaMunster · 51-55, M
@CountScrofula All good behaviors. I would add:
Validate your partners feelings whether you agree or not. It helps them feel heard and understood.
If all you have to do to resolve a conflict is do something simple or apologize, then just do it. Don't be a stubborn ass.
Compromise on things.
Don't air your dirty laundry outside of the relationship unless its productive, like seeing a therapist. Don't talk smack about your partner to friends or family.
Validate your partners feelings whether you agree or not. It helps them feel heard and understood.
If all you have to do to resolve a conflict is do something simple or apologize, then just do it. Don't be a stubborn ass.
Compromise on things.
Don't air your dirty laundry outside of the relationship unless its productive, like seeing a therapist. Don't talk smack about your partner to friends or family.
CountScrofula · 41-45, M
@SumKindaMunster Strongly agree to both. We never shit talk each other to even close friends and we are very good about validating each others feelings.
CountScrofula · 41-45, M
@Selah It's a lot of little things but like... if I can summarize it it's working through conflict peacefully and openly, putting up with stuff you can tolerate but may not like, lots of validation, and not talking shit about your partner to others.
Some discussions in thread about this already it's hard to neatly summarize.
Some discussions in thread about this already it's hard to neatly summarize.
AntisocialTroll · 56-60, F
SW-User
Yup happily married.
SW-User
My cousins husband said the same thing ~ told everyone how amazing his marriage was etc
9 months later he wanted a divorce bc he confessed that he was gay then he moved in with that guy then he left him for another woman!
Life isn’t perfect… no relationship is perfect obvs 🤡✨
9 months later he wanted a divorce bc he confessed that he was gay then he moved in with that guy then he left him for another woman!
Life isn’t perfect… no relationship is perfect obvs 🤡✨
CountScrofula · 41-45, M
@SW-User Nope, part of it is facing the problems of the relationship head-on and then making decisions about what you live with, what you try to fix, and what you can't stay through. I think a huge part of what's made us work is we put up with stuff we don't love but know isn't a big deal from the other partner.
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CountScrofula · 41-45, M
@SW-User A PERFECT ANGEL 13/10
