Love & Attraction

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What is love?

Idk. I haven't been able to figure it out. Is it that fifteen minutes of friction or the fact you care for them with your life? Is it the part you'll do anything to keep them alive? Is the part when you love them so much that you just care about their existence that you'd travel miles to ensure they're breathing.

Idk what love is? I think people want the friction than the heart.

Lol. Sorry. I have had a lot of gin tonight lol and I'm tripping. But I still wanted an honest opinion on the subject.

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ChampagneOnIce · 51-55, F

You want them to be happy even if that means not being with you.

Beatbox34 · 31-35, M

@ChampagneOnIce Yeah. This hits me harder now that I'm drunk as a skunk

ChampagneOnIce · 51-55, F

@Beatbox34 Doing the right thing is hard, but you have to do what’s best for both of you.

Beatbox34 · 31-35, M

@ChampagneOnIce Yeah. That all one can do.

That's what I did. I just said goodbye in my drunk state taking the blame that I'm the addict lol when I ain't 😂

hartfire

I believe real love is that which nurtures the well being of the other. It has many forms.
It does not use another for a few minutes of pleasure (and give none in return). It does not cause emotional or physical harm.

Sexual love can lead to deeper love through the firing of oxytocin, dopamine and serotonin during orgasm - especially if repeated often enough over time.
But even this will always fade because that which becomes over familiar ceases to be exciting for most people. That's one of the problems in long term relationships - how to keep things fresh.

Romantic love depends on projecting an ideal image onto the other. Sometimes each is putting their best self forward - encouraging the illusion. But if they stay together long enough, the truth emerges: they discover each other's flaws. That becomes the make or break time, usually at around the 18-24 month mark. If they learn how to resolve their conflicts win-win (ie, no compromise) and if they learn to accept one another's faults without trying to change each other, then they'll manage to develop a successful long term relationship. The skills are teachable and learnable, and the info is out there easily and freely available for anyone who looks.

But love is much more than just couples. It is families, friendships, communities, volunteering and the work we do for a living. It is people making gardens, being creative, discovering how the world and life works, designing buildings, ways of creating safety and good health, looking after and protecting nature, being active in limiting global warming. The ways we can love are infinite.

Beatbox34 · 31-35, M

@hartfire Well put

hartfire

@Beatbox34 Thank you :)

Busybee333 · 31-35, F

@Beatbox34 you [b]do matter[/b]. It has nothing to do with you. For x,y reasons, she did not or was not ready to accept you fully - you felt it and you were wise to walk away so that both of you can find someone that loves you unconditionally and that is ready to take all risks in life together. In the deepest love, there is no place for doubt. If you must be together, no matter what you do you'll meet again. If not, then perhaps life has something else in store for you. You'll know the one when there is no more doubt. Wishing you to feel better and to one day be with the person who loves you as you are :)

NoGamesTolerated · F

@Busybee333 I’d like to add to your comment that the soul that truly finds love will have to become vulnerable. There is no way around it!

Busybee333 · 31-35, F

@NoGamesTolerated The souls that dare to be vulnerable - those are the [b]bravest [/b]and [b]strongest[/b] souls ♥️

NoGamesTolerated · F

@Busybee333 We better know it! Absolutely

Busybee333 · 31-35, F

Love is when you mix all emotions in one - you want them to be [b]free, happy, healthy, secure, no matter what[/b], and you are ready to go through anything for them. You just love with every breath, and it is [b]deep and beautiful[/b], regardless of what happens on the other side.
Do not forget to [b]love yourself too[/b] - you must keep yourself[b] healthy [/b]to be able to have a strong heart throughout life. Maybe now it seems like you lost something but.... deep inside you are [b]enriching your soul.[/b] Emotions can be so deep.. when you reach the bottom, use the intensity of what you just felt to [b]push yourself back to surface[/b] - there is so much more to discover. [b]Keep moving [/b]in life - the puzzle will come into place.

pentacorn · F

baby, don't hurt me. don't hurt me... no more 🎶

it's mostly a chemical cascade in the brain, but it's also rather complex and esoteric in nature, making it very hard to define

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Beatbox34 · 31-35, M

@pentacorn For tonight, it's gonna be porridge and a glass of milk lol. Maybe a sandwich too if I'm too hungry.

pentacorn · F

@Beatbox34 sounds lovely. keep you from waking with a hangover

Beatbox34 · 31-35, M

@pentacorn Thank you for this 🤗

SW-User

Allowing them room in your head and your heart ❤️

Beatbox34 · 31-35, M

@SW-User I do love her. That's why I walked away. I'm like tripping like a f*cking duck lol.

I stared at my dinner for the past 15 minutes lol and everything seems to be going faster than expected. Thing is. Idk if you believe me, but I do love her. I just showed my way out.

SW-User

@Beatbox34 sometimes it has to be that way.

Beatbox34 · 31-35, M

@SW-User Yeah. No wonder, I'm a dumass.

calicuz · 51-55, M

No, what you described is obsession.

Love is wanting the best for them, even if what's best doesn't include you.

Love is sacrificing for them, you go without, so they can have.

Love is not so much an emotion that you can feel. Leave the butterflies in the stomach to the children, and the nausea of loneliness to the insane.

Beatbox34 · 31-35, M

@calicuz Lol

I'm not obsessed man. I know that about myself. Had that been the case then why would I be showing myself out?

Please don't rush to judgments.

Wateribbon · 26-30

To keep someone before you is called love..

When you stop getting selfish and put his or her priorities first that's called love.

When you start looking at him or her as similar like god that's the true love..

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NoGamesTolerated · F

@Beatbox34 To worship someone like God is idolatry! That’s not true love either. So you’re right. It’s not ideal…

Beatbox34 · 31-35, M

@NoGamesTolerated I felt the same. It's not like one needs to idolize someone.

Mutual respect is important but that's something way off.

NoGamesTolerated · F

@Beatbox34 exactly! Personally I would not want anyone to love me more than God… and I’m smart enough to know that if they love God in his rightful place, they will treat me well.

Beautywithin · 36-40, F

A lot dont know what true love is especially when you have lust ( which is not the same but confuses things )

Love isnt the same for us all. You will get different replies.

For me they stay in my heart and mind forever even if i can't be with them or they die. Time or distance doesn't matter.

Beatbox34 · 31-35, M

@Beautywithin Valid point.

Thanks for the answer.

rockstar · 31-35, M

Baby don’t hurrrt me… no more!

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Beatbox34 · 31-35, M

@SW-User I'm just in a rut. I need to get out of it. I wish it was easier said than done.

scorpio611 · 41-45, M

Love is a pure emotion. Drinking will not help you mate. You are strong and you will come out of it.

Beatbox34 · 31-35, M

@scorpio611 I will man. Thanks. I wish I could explain the shit in my head. Thank you though.

scorpio611 · 41-45, M

Stay strong… @Beatbox34

NoGamesTolerated · F

Love is “Never having to say you’re sorry”. 🙂

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NoGamesTolerated · F

@Beatbox34 I’m so sorry your heart is broken. You are a kind soul, this I know. And I know all too well we love who we love and are vulnerable to that love for no matter the reason. But I also know that enough distance and space of no contact, your desire for whatever concerning her will dim and maybe by some chance someday, you will say, “What was I thinking?” There is life after love. The problem is it’s too late for many by the time they realize it. When you think about it… it doesn’t make sense to pine after someone that is not worthy… nevertheless I do understand. 🤗

Beatbox34 · 31-35, M

@NoGamesTolerated Thank you so much 🤗. This means so much to me.

NoGamesTolerated · F

@Beatbox34 You are most welcome. 🤗

SW-User

Letting them go so they can be with someone else they want to be with

Beatbox34 · 31-35, M

@SW-User I did that.

I've accepted the fact that I'm ugly, unattractive, unfuckable and an idiot in love. It's best to step out than be an idiot at the end of the day.

Thing is, I ain't staying long enough to remember anyone. So it doesn't matter. I'm just enjoying till I can.

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