I believe real love is that which nurtures the well being of the other. It has many forms.
It does not use another for a few minutes of pleasure (and give none in return). It does not cause emotional or physical harm.
Sexual love can lead to deeper love through the firing of oxytocin, dopamine and serotonin during orgasm - especially if repeated often enough over time.
But even this will always fade because that which becomes over familiar ceases to be exciting for most people. That's one of the problems in long term relationships - how to keep things fresh.
Romantic love depends on projecting an ideal image onto the other. Sometimes each is putting their best self forward - encouraging the illusion. But if they stay together long enough, the truth emerges: they discover each other's flaws. That becomes the make or break time, usually at around the 18-24 month mark. If they learn how to resolve their conflicts win-win (ie, no compromise) and if they learn to accept one another's faults without trying to change each other, then they'll manage to develop a successful long term relationship. The skills are teachable and learnable, and the info is out there easily and freely available for anyone who looks.
But love is much more than just couples. It is families, friendships, communities, volunteering and the work we do for a living. It is people making gardens, being creative, discovering how the world and life works, designing buildings, ways of creating safety and good health, looking after and protecting nature, being active in limiting global warming. The ways we can love are infinite.
