I Love to Write
Pink Dress
"She was such a beautiful girl" they said,
while their fake tears of sympathy washed away last night's mascara.
She laid there at peace; her beautiful body resting.
"You just see someone every day & think you know them" cried the girl with no name, who sat across from her in Geometry last year...or perhaps the year before.
They chose the pink dress. The same dress that had become her bitter enemy.
The perfect dress for the perfect girl.
"I told her she was getting too thin" he said...
-this ironically coming from the boy whom she'd had a crush on all year, who had never spoken a word in her direction.
From the back you could hear the sobbing of her Mother.
If she could just take it all back...things would be different.
She would never joke around about her daughter 'getting chubby'.
She would never again compare her to any of those other girls.
As a Mother, how could she live with herself...knowing that her own daughter was not 'perfect' enough for her?
Her Father just stood somberly in the back of the church, shaking hands and thanking people.
He could only think about one of the last times they saw her.
Just a few days before, right after dinner, he was walking down the hall and heard her crying in her bedroom.
The door was cracked and he knocked lightly, pushing it ajar.
There she was.
His beautiful Princess, standing in front of the mirror in her pink dress.
Tears strumming down her face, she smiled, still facing the mirror.
"Look Daddy!" she cried. "It finally fits again!"
Unable to speak, he collapsed to the floor.
"Honey! Get up here!" he managed to yell.
Her Mother ran up the stairs frantically. "What? What?" she cried. "Don't do that to me!” she scolded as she came through the door.
"What is so urgent that you..." she began to ask,
before her words were taken away.
She stopped suddenly and stood in front of her little girl.
Her head tilted as she looked her up and down.
"Jesus" she muttered, as her hand went up to her mouth.
"Honey?" the mother asked. "What have you done?"
How could they not have seen this?
Even with all their busy schedules, how could they not have noticed that their little girl was withering away to absolutely nothing? They knew she had been dieting and working out,
-but how could they possibly have missed this hollow-eyed creature that used to be their vivacious little princess?
The girl was still standing, facing the mirror.
For weeks she'd been waiting to surprise them...wearing the big baggy sweatshirts; the oversized jeans.
And now, overcome with joy, she turned to face them.
She finally fit back into her pink dress.
The next few days were a blur.
-all the Doctors and hospitals.
The countless hours of talking to her; trying to get to the root of her problem.
She refused to eat and became livid at the thought of being fed through an IV.
-all this work? And now this? Force fed?
She fought them every step of the way, but was eventually medicated and put on an IV.
But there wasn't enough time.
She closed her eyes and imagined how beautiful she looked.
She couldn't wait to go back to school without her baggy clothes to show all of them.
Yes...she would do that; just as soon as she lost 10 more pounds.
Her Dad walked up closer, not wanting to see, but needing to.
He watched the others whisper their final Goodbye's and walk off.
Now it was just him...and his Princess.
His eyes softened immediately and he couldn't help but cry.
His countless hours of regrets flashing before his eyes.
not being home enough...
not spending enough time with her...
not taking the time to talk to her...
not telling her everyday how beautiful and perfect she was.
Damn them. Damn everybody.
He took her hand and held it to his face.
Why couldn't he have just seen it?
It was all so clear now...and now it was too late.
He didn't need a team of Doctor's to tell him what was wrong with his little girl.
All those last hours she spent being analyzed...and poked...like a fucking lab rat.
He finally understood what was wrong with his little girl.
She just wanted to be pretty.
And at last she finally was...
"She was such a beautiful girl" they said,
while their fake tears of sympathy washed away last night's mascara.
She laid there at peace; her beautiful body resting.
"You just see someone every day & think you know them" cried the girl with no name, who sat across from her in Geometry last year...or perhaps the year before.
They chose the pink dress. The same dress that had become her bitter enemy.
The perfect dress for the perfect girl.
"I told her she was getting too thin" he said...
-this ironically coming from the boy whom she'd had a crush on all year, who had never spoken a word in her direction.
From the back you could hear the sobbing of her Mother.
If she could just take it all back...things would be different.
She would never joke around about her daughter 'getting chubby'.
She would never again compare her to any of those other girls.
As a Mother, how could she live with herself...knowing that her own daughter was not 'perfect' enough for her?
Her Father just stood somberly in the back of the church, shaking hands and thanking people.
He could only think about one of the last times they saw her.
Just a few days before, right after dinner, he was walking down the hall and heard her crying in her bedroom.
The door was cracked and he knocked lightly, pushing it ajar.
There she was.
His beautiful Princess, standing in front of the mirror in her pink dress.
Tears strumming down her face, she smiled, still facing the mirror.
"Look Daddy!" she cried. "It finally fits again!"
Unable to speak, he collapsed to the floor.
"Honey! Get up here!" he managed to yell.
Her Mother ran up the stairs frantically. "What? What?" she cried. "Don't do that to me!” she scolded as she came through the door.
"What is so urgent that you..." she began to ask,
before her words were taken away.
She stopped suddenly and stood in front of her little girl.
Her head tilted as she looked her up and down.
"Jesus" she muttered, as her hand went up to her mouth.
"Honey?" the mother asked. "What have you done?"
How could they not have seen this?
Even with all their busy schedules, how could they not have noticed that their little girl was withering away to absolutely nothing? They knew she had been dieting and working out,
-but how could they possibly have missed this hollow-eyed creature that used to be their vivacious little princess?
The girl was still standing, facing the mirror.
For weeks she'd been waiting to surprise them...wearing the big baggy sweatshirts; the oversized jeans.
And now, overcome with joy, she turned to face them.
She finally fit back into her pink dress.
The next few days were a blur.
-all the Doctors and hospitals.
The countless hours of talking to her; trying to get to the root of her problem.
She refused to eat and became livid at the thought of being fed through an IV.
-all this work? And now this? Force fed?
She fought them every step of the way, but was eventually medicated and put on an IV.
But there wasn't enough time.
She closed her eyes and imagined how beautiful she looked.
She couldn't wait to go back to school without her baggy clothes to show all of them.
Yes...she would do that; just as soon as she lost 10 more pounds.
Her Dad walked up closer, not wanting to see, but needing to.
He watched the others whisper their final Goodbye's and walk off.
Now it was just him...and his Princess.
His eyes softened immediately and he couldn't help but cry.
His countless hours of regrets flashing before his eyes.
not being home enough...
not spending enough time with her...
not taking the time to talk to her...
not telling her everyday how beautiful and perfect she was.
Damn them. Damn everybody.
He took her hand and held it to his face.
Why couldn't he have just seen it?
It was all so clear now...and now it was too late.
He didn't need a team of Doctor's to tell him what was wrong with his little girl.
All those last hours she spent being analyzed...and poked...like a fucking lab rat.
He finally understood what was wrong with his little girl.
She just wanted to be pretty.
And at last she finally was...
