Five words

“He’s going to be okay.”

That fucking text
made the first tear fall.
And then I shattered.

Everything I had buried
came pouring out
the guilt
the ange
the ache
the fucking unbearable truth
that you are never coming back

I had held it all in
until my body couldn’t fucking hold it anymore.
Years of drought
turned int a flood
running down my face.

Ugly.
Messy.
Humilating.

But real.

I cried until my chest hurt.
Until I couldn’ breathe right.
Until there was nothing left
to preten I was okay.
And now I don’t know
how to stop.

Maybe I don’t want too

Because these tears
are the only proof
that somewhere inside me
I’m finally letting myself believe it

He is gone.
Andholy fuck…
I miss my best friend.