I never told you I loved you but I hope you knew - roads not taken?!? Poem

There is a road
I cannot stop staring at.
The one where you didn’t die.
The one where there was more time.
More nights.
More stupid conversations.

I love you.
Fuck.
I should have said it.
I thought almost
was close enough.

I thought tomorrow
was guaranteed.
Now you’re dead
and I am left holding
every word I never gave you.
Every road ends here.
With your name
in the past tense.
With me wondering
if you ever knew
that beneath everythin
beneath the mess,
the fear,
the things we said
and the things we didn’t
I loved you.
I loved you.

I just never told you.
And now there is no
later.
No someday.
No I’ll tell him tomorrow.

Just this brutal, fucking
almost.
Somewhere, I hope,
there is an elsewhere
where you knew.

Where you heard it
without me having to say it.
I kept thinking
there would be more time.
Another night
Another chance
to finally say—

I love you.
But you died
and took tomorrow with you.
Now I’m left
with this fucking map
of every road
we never took,
every word
I swallowed,
every almost.
I hope you knew.
God, I hope you knew.
Because I loved you.
I just never said it
before it was too late.