I think used to think I was beautiful.

I used to be desirable. I remember those days. I’ve always felt more beautiful with age.

But now, I feel used up. The only reason men want me is for sex and not the good kind. Or what I would consider good, were it meaningful and intimate….

My heart isn’t coping with long term loneliness. Death and being left behind, nobody cared and maybe I went cold. Maybe that’s why no one even wants to cherish me like I would them. Because my heart is shit without me knowing.

Maybe it just happens when you lose the ones you loved the most too soon?

Maybe you live the rest of your life in gloom.

And people see me and think what they think, but I believe it used to be kind thoughts, that’s the way it felt…

Now I feel like there MUST be something wrong with me. For wanting to be loved, I am wrong. I can hardly stand living each day like this.

The loneliness is taking my life…