I Express Myself Through Writing

Is it day or is it night? I cannot tell by such ashen light. I smell a familiar smell- A smell from whence I cannot tell. As dead leaves swirl in the wind- Portraits in my mind flash and spin. Am I here or am I there? The chimes of time will tell me where. I will not go yet I am here- The Bad place where many fear. I see the long corridor where once I was lead- To my room at the end with the rickety bed. As the scent of the fox leads the hounds, By the familiar smell, in my room I am found. Tis the same as I left it before- The high window, nail scratched walls and the cold damp floor. How I came back was out of my control- Very few know how strong the hold - 'Tis here I only do as I am told. My mind has no will of its own- Its youth and strength have come and gone. So here I am and here I'll stay, till the day of death leads the way. ( Excerpt from Roger Waters " Brain Damage") you raise the blade, you make the change, you rearrange me till I'm sane. You lock the door and throw away the key, there's someone in my head but it's not me. I wrote this in 2010. I had been placed out on Disability by my Neurologist because of my seizures. I was 46 then and I had worked since I was 15, and I was a workaholic. I went into severe depression. You go from working all your life to doing absolutely nothing but having seizures, that will put anyone there. Although this writing makes it sound like I was in an Institution, thank goodness I never was and don't plan on going either. I always kept a journal even before, so I just kept on writing. This and a few more I had come across, so I thought I might share it with you, my friends. Even though I still battle depression, it's not near as bad as it was during the time of this writing. For the ones that feel like you'll be better off to be put away, tie a knot at the end of your rope and just hang on. THIS TOO SHALL PASS ! PEACE