I write what I feel

There are deaths,
and then there are deaths from the attack.

You tell yourself not to get involved,
but you're too deep in the quicksand,
deeply affected,
can't undo what you saw,
can't erase what you feel.

You dream about the war,
being there in the smoke,
it's a never-ending zone.

If you spoke those words
that [i]you want to be there
to help the injured,
to bloody do something[/i],
would they call you crazy
out-of-your-mind?

But that's what you dream about
in the night,
going there, feeling what they feel,
fear and terror side-by-side with
hope and courage
to go on, to keep their loved ones safe.