I am the girl...

I am the girl who feels as though she is trapped in time.
A girl who was loved by friends and family, not some but all of my life.
I am the girl who was provided with the world.
I crumbled my opportunities like rubles within my fingertips.
I loved a stranger on more than one occasion.
I am the girl with scars etched within her skin.
I wanted to understand the pain that my friend felt.
I am also the girl who continued and never stopped.
I am the girl who stopped eating because that same girl thought that she was fat.
She was my best friend.
I am the girl who drank vodka and slept on the side of the road;
intoxicated.
I am the girl who ran away from home.
When I gave up, I asked strange men for a ride home.
I am the girl who took mixed pills just for pleasure.
I had hoped I'd bleed to death on multiple occasions.
I am the girl who attempted suicide.
I am the girl whose fire finally lit the moment I met You.

I waited for you

I am the girl whose love burnt so intensely for you that it almost destroyed me.
I tried to correct my actions, but I overcorrected.
We both become burned.

I am the girl who wanted your attention so badly I thought my life was nothing.
I took the pills.
My existence was numb.

I closed my eyes and felt the trigger as I placed my grandparent's gun to my head.
It is uncomfortable to live without you.


I am a girl who is still young.
I am a girl who is still not over you.

I am the girl who got knocked up by the one I used to replace you.
I didn't understand.

You loved my son.

You said you loved me but you loved to feel out of this world as well.

My son and I are in this world. I needed you to come back to earth.
This is where I could love you.

I am the girl who has not cut in two years.
I am a girl who no longer drinks alcohol.
The gun is a distant memory.
I gave up nicotine and I will never abusive a substance again.
My pills are in my past.


Could you be in my future?

I am the girl who wants you in her life.