I Express Myself Through Writing

Sadness hit me today like bricks raining down. Considering this is usually a sad time of the year for me, I was actually doing very well this season, until...an hour ago. Someone wrote the most innocuous thing, and it touched a place in me, so deep and so raw that I didn’t know it still existed. I thought I’d dealt with it – but no – loss was just laying beneath the surface, waiting to rise up like a silent running submersible breaking through the murky depths into consciousness. Now I feel the heaviness of sadness and loss. It robs my energy, and I just want to withdraw from the harshness of reality, and go back inside myself. I’m losing perspective. I need silence and rest. I don’t want to celebrate Christmas. I want to go away, and come back when it’s all over.