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Ok I want to try to write my first erotica because I've been inspired

But I need advice. Without too much spoiling, what do you think the appropriate age gap in a sexual relationship is for the main character, who is 21 years old? I'm thinking his partner is going to be older than him
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The older he is, the darker the areas where they do it need to be, or maybe she is entirely blind.
She doesn't see the age, has no idea how old he is.
Maybe it only happens when she puts on a VR helmet that is locked in place. He opens the lock when he finishes.