A breakup writing

I never thought this day would come . I thought that we were happy . I thought we could get through this . The thing is I saw a future with you and you didn’t once think about a future . I saw us living together and waking up next to each other everyday. I remember feeling so safe around you . I remember thinking I’d risk my life for you if it came down to you living and me dying . I remember life felt full of endless possibilities. You’d compliment me and I got butterflies every-time . You made me feel like I was on a cloud . Then somewhere things got worse and worse . We would fight and we would work through it but this time you wouldn’t be coming back . I remember sometime things weren’t my fault I’d go to sleep so sad . Id go over to your house I’d just cry and apologize even if it wasn’t my fault . I’d cry and beg for you to just love me and hold me I wasn’t ready to let you go just yet . I held onto the hope of a better tomorrow. I use to think I was sad In life because of something in my life I thought was going wrong but I knew that I was losing you I just didn’t wanna admit it . I use to wanna stay up late with you because we were in the moment, I didn’t have to worry about losing you one day we were just in the moment . So many times you’ve made me cry you made me out to be a mean bad person , when all I wanted was to make you happy I tried so hard , I told you about my past but instead of you understanding the way I am because my past you went to my ex , you ranted about me to a person who hurt me put me through a lot . I let you hurt me so many times because I loved you . I was holding onto hope , I held on to hope for the longest . Now you are gone , I heard you drove a hour for someone already when there would be days I’d beg you to come over because I was so sad or had a bad day , I was closer . It hurts knowing you prob are kissing someone new . I feel like you cheated on me even if we aren’t together I feel wronged . But truth is you wronged me before we even broke up. I miss what use to be . I want the person who made me feel like I could run a mile . But the truth is I’ll never get that person back , it hurts knowing you moved on so fast while I’m healing and doing it alone . I wanna just scream bc of how bad you hurt me .