Inside and out

Inside and out

Two ways to think now, when I am alone I can let it all overcome me
When I am not. I have no choice but to force it down inside
if I were to let it take over I would fall into the despair
But the only other way is to let it out and anger takes over

Inside I want to feel something more than the sense of nothing
Closing my eyes at night and whispering that sweet call of silence
Wishing it all away and hoping that something takes pity and lets me go
But I awake to another day and once again have to face it alone.

Inside is the hopelessness that I know so well
on the outside that hopelessness is turned into anger
That fuel to keep me from giving it all up
Even if deep down inside I know it will never change