Forever in time
Forever in time
I can feel the water fall over me as I stand in the shower
Three white plastic walls are on each side and before me
I have my back to the glass door that stops the water from flowing free
This has become a place for me to try and gather my thoughts
it seems like a place of solitude at times and I can drift in my mind
Happiness and regrets are often the thoughts that invade the near silence
Well perhaps happiness once, but now I am lost in regrets and sadness
Pondering the idea of never existing and how much better the world would be
Closing my eyes as I lift my head to let the water flow over my face
Thoughts of counting back from ten and having it all gone forever
My hand touching the handle that controls the temperature of the shower
With a turn, I can feel the heat rise and it gives me a sense of something
Ten, nine
I begin to count and think of the people that would be better without me
Eight, seven
Pain that I have caused others and wished I could have been more
Six, five
I would be rid of the pain I feel inside and the failures to show others that I cared
Four, three
A sense of darkness washes over me and I can feel something like a release
Two, one
Yes, if I could just wish myself away and let the world around me be better for it
Zero
No more and forever in time beyond anyone's reach for me to fail them.
