Washington shall henceforth be called Trumpton.
The Menai Straits between Ynys Mon and the rest of Wales, is officially now the MeMe Strait to the US Navy blockading it The Secretary of State of War has declared the reason secret, because he could not think of a reason other than if a Strait it must be US property. The annoucement came the day after the world's liveStock-Markets saw unusually heavy activity in wool-fat futures and fleeces.
US Military bands are ordered to drop the et syllable from wind-instrument names.
The Parish Council of Trumps Green (near Windsor) was initially honoured to be offered twinning with New York until finding the beautiful deal's hidden clause (para 756.2.r on p.598) declared the Surrey village to be the USA's Sixty-First State, and any resistance will be met by a USN aircraft-carrier task-force.
Meanwhile, the directors of the British food retailers, Iceland, are puzzled by an Oval Office letter telling them they shall rename its capital Reykjavik to Reykjared and shall not complain about Greenland Energy dumping a load of big crates on the head-office car-park.
Alaska has become Alnotask-a.
A major US fast-food chain has been ordered to remove the Mac prefix from its brand-name.
The Reflecting Pool's recent refurbishers have been given the contract to add an extension consisting of a cross-arm about half the length of the main part, symmetrically across the Memorial end. Its ends will form ramps for car access.
Told there is not room on the original rock face to add his visage to the Mt. Rushmore triptych, Donald Trump has commissioned a glass-fibre version to the same scale, to stand centrally and in front of the existing sculptures.
Hearing that the Lincoln Memorial cannot yet be renamed The Trump and Lincoln Memorial because he is still alive, Mr. Trump woke up and asked, "Am I?"
Southern States school boards have been told to remove Alice in Wonderland from their libraries and "redact" the Mad Hatter scene. The White House Press Office says the dormouse's tendency to doze off at inopportune moments during tea-parties, has led Donald Trump to accuse the passage of mocking him; and to issue a $1000M case against the author, Lewis Carroll.
