Bureaucracratician (noun)
A political species of bureaucrat who has evolved beyond ordinary paperwork and developed the extraordinary ability to turn a simple decision into a multi-layered consultation process involving committees, subcommittees, stakeholder engagement, a review of the previous review, and a final recommendation to consider having another review.
Politically, a bureaucracratician is the perfect servant of any government that wants to appear decisive while ensuring that absolutely nothing happens quickly.
“The minister announced immediate action, but the bureaucracraticians have referred the matter to a working group for further consideration.”
The word is especially useful for describing someone who combines:
the authority of a bureaucrat;
the confidence of a politician;
the vocabulary of a management consultant;
and the actual ability to achieve nothing whatsoever.
Example:
“The new policy was designed by bureaucracraticians, so naturally the form to apply for the form is only available by submitting a written request for access to the online portal.”
In short:
A bureaucrat says, “No.”
A politician says, “Yes, absolutely.”
A bureaucracratician says, “Yes, absolutely—but first we need to establish a cross-departmental framework to explore the possibility of saying yes.”
