The Thing Is:
When I look at me I don’t see a piece of shit!
But when I look at how people treat me, and how people use me, and how people leave me…,
All I can assume is that I’m a piece of shit!
It’s fairly annoying and I don’t quite understand how it is that I feel like I treat people better than they deserve. How I do unto others in ways I’d like to have done unto me. How it is that I know for certain that I have given more than I had to people I thought had less, and yet there’s no reciprocal respect or affection?
I look at my life and wonder how I got it all so wrong? How w it is that the nice guys seem fated to finish last? How I could have done so many good things for people I thought deserved some kindness, only to find myself here…, Alone and unwanted and without a single soul I can count on to have my back in my times of need?
I swear to God and I swear at God because I was raised in his name by parents that forced me to church as they stayed home every Sunday.
I did my best to do what God asked me to do but all I got in return was hardship, abandonment, and pains that run so deep that I often find myself begging for the angel of death to come and claim me.
And I no longer care if I end up in heaven or hell because I can’t even imagine anything being worse than what I’ve been through.
All I know for sure is that I’m not the piece of shit people make me feel like I am.
I have no idea why my life went the way it did!
I tried to do everything right and it’s all just so fucking wrong…
But when I look at how people treat me, and how people use me, and how people leave me…,
All I can assume is that I’m a piece of shit!
It’s fairly annoying and I don’t quite understand how it is that I feel like I treat people better than they deserve. How I do unto others in ways I’d like to have done unto me. How it is that I know for certain that I have given more than I had to people I thought had less, and yet there’s no reciprocal respect or affection?
I look at my life and wonder how I got it all so wrong? How w it is that the nice guys seem fated to finish last? How I could have done so many good things for people I thought deserved some kindness, only to find myself here…, Alone and unwanted and without a single soul I can count on to have my back in my times of need?
I swear to God and I swear at God because I was raised in his name by parents that forced me to church as they stayed home every Sunday.
I did my best to do what God asked me to do but all I got in return was hardship, abandonment, and pains that run so deep that I often find myself begging for the angel of death to come and claim me.
And I no longer care if I end up in heaven or hell because I can’t even imagine anything being worse than what I’ve been through.
All I know for sure is that I’m not the piece of shit people make me feel like I am.
I have no idea why my life went the way it did!
I tried to do everything right and it’s all just so fucking wrong…
51-55, M
