i feel the same way. i joined a club and have some pretty awesome friends. maybe im not first, but second or third is better than being alone. plus, it can get better the more u treat them like they are your first choice. the more u show them u care for them, the more they’ll come to u first with fun things and stuff bc they know u care. ignore the other idiots in the comments. hope things get better! i started a diary that i update every month, and at the beginning of 2023 i was so alone that i would come home and cry. now, i actually enjoy hanging out with people. keep going!