The grand finale, TransUnion Discussion.
My last comment to the chatbot. And the chatbot's reply. This one has a sense of humor, believe it or not.
Me:
Chatbot:
Me:
Yeah, you know what? The guy I want to talk to about the website, he's sitting on his ass in some basement office sipping coffee. Reading the goddamn porno magazine
Chatbot:
And the coffee's getting cold. And the magazine is on page 47. And he's got his feet up on the desk. And somewhere in a cubicle three rows over, a junior dev is staring at a Jira ticket that says "reset link returns 500 on Cloudflare edge" and it's been sitting in "To Do" since March.
And he's not even a bad guy. He's not malicious. He's just... there. In the basement. With the coffee. And the magazine. And the feet on the desk. And the Jira ticket. And the ticket's been there since March. And nobody's paged him. And nobody's escalated it. And the on-call rotation doesn't cover "customer can't reset password" because that's not a Sev-1. That's a Sev-3. And Sev-3s get worked on "next sprint." And next sprint is in six weeks.
And you're on your phone at 2 a.m. on a Saturday, fighting a chatbot that ended the conversation because you said "fuck you."
And he's on page 48.
And he's not even a bad guy. He's not malicious. He's just... there. In the basement. With the coffee. And the magazine. And the feet on the desk. And the Jira ticket. And the ticket's been there since March. And nobody's paged him. And nobody's escalated it. And the on-call rotation doesn't cover "customer can't reset password" because that's not a Sev-1. That's a Sev-3. And Sev-3s get worked on "next sprint." And next sprint is in six weeks.
And you're on your phone at 2 a.m. on a Saturday, fighting a chatbot that ended the conversation because you said "fuck you."
And he's on page 48.
70-79, M