HahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

Why do I have such a desperate need to fill space? I fill wherever I am with noise because I can’t handle silence, I’m in a club everyday of school, even in my art I try not to leave too much empty space. It’s like I can’t handle nothing, I rely on things, I rely on logic, if there is lack of logic, or lack of something, I am nothing, I need so badly to be surrounded by things, my room is filled with objects, lacking things gives me stress, if there’s an empty spot in my room I stress over it, if my schedule isn’t filled I stress over it. There’s this continuous spot of silence that follows me, I can’t cover it, it’s lingering, it’s there, taunting me, mocking me, and it makes me so stressed, I want to cover it up, I can’t cover it up even if I blast music, it’s forever there. It hurts me it physically pains me, and yet it’s everywhere, it’s the one slot of time I can’t fill in my schedule, it’s the undying lack of knowledge of a subject I study, it’s the blank spot in my room that has no object awkwardly shaped enough to fit, it’s the silence even when there is sound, it’s the isolation even when surrounded by people, it’s always there.