What Are Your Experiences...

@CrazyMusicLover

I can share some of that. It started very young, Like 5 or 6, and it took a while to figure what triggered it. It's a state of near paralyzing self consciousness. My first awareness was as a small kid in school, a daydreamer mentally detached from what was going on in a classroom and being called on. Like I had no idea what had transpired or happened immediately prior to the moment of being called on. Worse was being called on to go to the blackboard to work an arithmetic problem. Like I hadn't paid attention for weeks and I'm totally clueless so all I could do was stand their paralyzed until told to sit down.

Before I had fully worked out that problem I suddenly discovered at the age of 8 or 9 or 10 that I had a lisp. Wow, talk about self consciousness going through the roof with a speech impediment. People suddenly saying "what?" when I thought I was perfectly clear. And saying "what?" again when I repeated. It took forever to train my tongue to pronounce a more acceptable "666", so in the meantime I changed it to sex-sexty-sex but that also carried a bit of self consciousness, and what was better was to say nothing and just avoid speaking at all.

Somehow, probably with divine intervention I survived school and college in spite of the above. And actually became a good class presenter. but the anxiety is still there. It hinges on the self consciousness thing. Too much and I'm in panic territory. If my focus is on what I want to talk about I'm fine. I also have an escape plan when I'm caught off guard, like I've been daydreaming and suddenly the spotlight is on me. If I have no other escape I confess to not having paid attention. The problem with a panic attack is that once triggered it can take 5,10 or 15 minutes to subside. Long enough for your whole train to derail. So have plan if that's a possibility.

@CrazyMusicLover If I might mention, a few things that helped get me off a flatline where self consciousness and fear held m back were public speaking classes with understanding audiences and good instructors. One was a college course, another was an Air Force instructor program and a third was with large corporate employer. All three were pretty extensive but for me it took all three. The semester long college course was a good starter in that I found myself in a class where half the class or more had stage fright or confidence issues. On like the very first or second class day when we were asked to individually walk to the front of the class and introduce ourselves the very first lady (we went in alphabet order) walked to the front of the class of about 15, turned around to face the class, and said "Ah", then turned beet red and again said "Ah", then said "I cant do this.", started crying and ran back to her chair.

The outpouring of sympathy from the rest of the class helped dry the tears, and the gentle reassurance by the instructor, with a "don't worry about it, it's why we are here" and "lets just try again in the next session." The very same thing happened the next class session. In the third session she got to the first "Ah", then started the second "Ah", but caught her breath and with a spark of control that came from somewhere, she slowly told everyone her name, where she was from, and second by second her voice returned to a conversational voice, and she filled the the next two minutes as if the first two attempts had never happened.

As she returned to he seat the class applauded her; she blushed and acted embarrassed by the attention. The sensitivity thing can go both ways.

@Heartlander I only was ever doing well when I did thorough preparation, still I dissociated and went on autopilot, like the part of me listened to the other part of me and judged. When I go on autopilot, I appear normal on the outside but inside I feel like it's not me, like some part of my brain took over that I don't have full conscious control over, therefore I might actually say something socially inappropriate. When I don't go on autopilot and have stage fright, I can't find words, repeat myself over and over, can't think straight, use weird word combinations or forms etc. I probably look and sound as if I had a brain damage.

What you describe is extreme, I never had that level of stage fright but I witnessed it in high school when a schoolmate got stuck and couldn't let out a single word, just stared around paralyzed. I think it can happen to anyone.

@CrazyMusicLover Absolutely. Anyone.

I try to analyze public speakers or conversationalist and the one thing that seems to elevate the great one above the rest is that they spend the first few minutes locking themselves into the audience and waiting for the audience to lock themselves onto the speaker. That is, they first reach an engagement of minds, and don't press forward until they feel the audience is eager to hear more.

I likewise had an autopilot front end that would get me through the first few minutes until I could lean on audiovisual props that drew attention away from me and onto a big video screen, or chart, or diagram. Especially when addressing strangers or the unknown. What got me beyond that was experience. At some point self confidence overreaches self consciousness and it was like riding a bike without the training wheels. A little wobbly at first, but not for long.