Agoraphobic?

Been feeling increasingly agoraphobic today and don't know why. That's not like me. I've been pushing myself to go out today more than I had planned because of it. But all I feel is like I'm walking a thin line between barely manageable stress and anxiety and a panic attack. I just got back from walking down to the store and back just to pick up some mangos as an excuse to try to make me confront whatever is going on in my head. But all I feel is relief to be back home. I just want to turn the AC on and wrap myself in multiple blankets and put my head between my knees and breathe until I feel calm again or punch and kick the shit out of a punching bag until I'm exhausted and not leave my apartment until work tomorrow. I hate this what the fuck is wrong with me today?!?!. :/

This page is a permanent link to the reply below and its nested replies. See all post replies »

Montanaman · M

"Patches "

The venetian blinds turned and opened up, allowing patches of light to flood in. She allowed it to bathe her face with the warmth as the evening sun settled in, she was pleased with what she felt.
Pleased with her determination, her decision made, she opened up the door to the outside. Babysteps, she thought to herself.
The first time in 6 months that the outside light had been allowed to mingle with the darkness in her home. She bathed in the warmth of sunlight. It warmed her heart, and penetrated her soul.
She stepped through the doorway, to the outside world, and thoughts of the past haunted her, yet she couldn't turn back. It was time to face her fears, it was time to allow more than patches of light to touch her skin.

😕🤗❤️❤️✍️
Kelly.

shakemeup · 36-40

@Montanaman Thank you. I'm doing fine now. Only lasted one day.