I have a good life, and I am grateful for that, but I have a constant longing that I can not shake.
I love the people in my life; my kids, my parents, my brother, and the few friends that I have. I love my cat. I love the job that I have and a place where I can utilize my talents. I love the fact that I have shelter, and clothing, and food and all the basic necessities in life.
But I am so alone. I long for companionship every minute of every day. I miss having someone that I can call my own and vice versa. I love being able to take care of someone and being able to make them happy. I miss that person being able to reciprocate those things to me. I miss sitting on my porch and chatting about our days. I miss walking, hand in hand, through our small town, and not having to say a word to each other, but just enjoying being in our own company. And at night, after we have each had long days away from each other, I miss lying next to them in bed, cradling them, caressing them, kissing them, loving them, and finally, drifting off to sleep, satisfied with how much I am loved.
I miss being loved. I miss companionship. I miss her. God damn I am so alone, and I feel like I am losing my mind.
But I am so alone. I long for companionship every minute of every day. I miss having someone that I can call my own and vice versa. I love being able to take care of someone and being able to make them happy. I miss that person being able to reciprocate those things to me. I miss sitting on my porch and chatting about our days. I miss walking, hand in hand, through our small town, and not having to say a word to each other, but just enjoying being in our own company. And at night, after we have each had long days away from each other, I miss lying next to them in bed, cradling them, caressing them, kissing them, loving them, and finally, drifting off to sleep, satisfied with how much I am loved.
I miss being loved. I miss companionship. I miss her. God damn I am so alone, and I feel like I am losing my mind.
46-50, M
