I was 2 months into a hospital stay, when I finally connected with brother. We had been playing phone tag for like 6 weeks.
The first thing that I hear out of my little brothers mouth (mind you he is 2 1/2 times my size) is, "I died."
"What the fuck bubba?!"
Sputter, sputter, start pacing the hallway, nurses and staff become alarmed and start watching my every movement.
I hold up my hand to let them know I have control, I'm good.
He proceeds to fill me in on how one minute he was alone in the apartment relaxing. Next thing he wakes up with a tube down his throat, in the hospital I.C.U.
The nurses and doctors told him that paramedics responded to a 911 call and found him laid out on the floor with no pulse.
They had took shock his heart twice and got him back.
I am sitting on a chair shaking and crying (silently so as to not to set him off) and wishing with everything that I can negotiate my immediate release, with the Powers that be. So that I can rush to my bubbas side and take care of him.
I inform him of my situation and the reason that everybody suddenly lost communications and surveillance of my ass. Which in our world lately is not supposed to happen. But once he heard the drama and turmoil that I was swept up in, he understood what I had to battle for the past month. And would text an update about me to those concerned.
I assured him that I and my care takers would immeadiately work on expiditing my discharge date. He heard their affirmation and encouragement for both of us to concentrate on healing for each other, in the background.
Some comfort and I wasn't shaking or crying anymore.
Then I hear and feel his heavy sigh. "8 days ago bubba (a dear friend ours who has been battling lung cancer that has spread to his brain for 3 years now, had 2 major strokes. Its a miracle that he is still alive. After he is discharged from the hospital he has to go into physical rehab."
My brother had taken over his care and has power of attorney over all of his affairs and moved into his apartment.
Which is where my brother's heart decided to take a little pause.
"Hey, hey! Breathe brother. Listen to my voice. We are both still alive. We are both still with you. Hopefully you will get to come and see both of us by the time they release you. So you have something extra to look forward too."
That's my brother. Weak as his body is and he is lending me his strength and courage.
Now you see why he is my favorite person and I am so proud of the man he has become.
Tortures me from time to time but hey, keeps it exciting.
"I am afraid that I have some more bad news to tell you. But this we were kinda expecting. I am just so sorry that you didn't get to say goodbye.
C Love passed about a month ago. By that time you were already in the hospital and couldn't recieve any of the messages sent out to tell you. Her girls have been asking and worried about what happened to you. Why you haven't come or called . Now that I have the answer I will go over and talk with them. I will tell them that I will bring you as soon as I see you first.
I suggest that you wait til you are all together, to talk with them."
I agree.
And I am grateful that it was he that was the messenger of this news. If I heard it from her daughter my heartache and sorrow would be doubled. So considering these unbelievably impossible reality shifts in so many lives.
We will be grateful to have each other to love for another day. And we will all focus on being together really soon. And I will be there to take care of everybody and find a way to get us through the Darkness as I have always done.
The only way that we make it is together.
The strength of the Pack is the wolf.
The strength of the Wolf is the Pack.
I do not have a life.
I live in everbody elses.
I have given all that I possess, my own place, my financial security, all of my time is theirs.
My greatest wish is to send my most favorite people in this world, out of this world, knowing how incredible my life has been with them in it.
I want them to know how loved they are and why. They can go out into the Universe knowing that I am proud of them and I will be happy and never for one second regret giving up my life to be allowed to live in theirs.
------------- Poetic Play 2024 ---------------------------
From you I recieve
To you I give
Together we share
For this we live
