She has a face that simply captivate me. With eyes so dark and deep, you could drown in them, and never be seen again, ever sinking into their incredible beauty. Set perfectly in a face I could stare at all day and night, forever young in my admiring eyes.
I sometimes think of that poem I wrote for her but never sent, at least two year ago. It was about a long drive with her in the car at night. Listening to music and talking at a scenic location in the moonlight. The entire night sky ours to explore and absorb.
Though, of course, it never happened.. and I doubt it ever will, but I swear it has happened in my heart dozens of times. Somehow my mind mixed reality and fantasy into something I almost believe was real. I want it to be real but she is stuck in something I can't get her out of, and she can't see an escape in me, like I can see an escape from my own nightmare in her.
She drew the lines between us. We never had a chance. I never deserved it anyway. I do wish I had handled it better, but I was in a dark place and felt my life was slipping away and was grasping for something to keep from falling into the mouth of a darkness I might never return from.
No girl wants the possibility of a romance to start like that, especially after years of slowly building a wonderful friendship. But I was in so much pain, i lost control and paid the price for it.. well unfortunately am still am paying the price for it. I will always carry the blame, and carry hers too.
Though all is lost, I'll never look at a photo of you, or read a post of yours, without thinking of how grateful I am for the time we were able to share. Always imagining our embrace in the moonlight of a shared life.
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