I Procrastinate
It was kinda funny at first, but this isn't anything I can joke about now. I've procrastinated so much that this is affecting my life negatively. My grades are suffering from my procrastination, even though I understand everything that we're learning. I'm just not doing the work out of laziness and lack of care. This can't keep going on or else I'm going to end up creating problems for my future too.
It's not even just school that I procrastinate on, though. Brushing my teeth regularly has been a struggle for the same reasons as my homework. I just procrastinate time and time again but never get it done. I'm about 90% sure I have gingivitis, and that's not okay. Not at all. I'm planning to visit my dentist, but I shouldn't have had to have the need in the first place.
I procrastinate on my friends and close ones too, even on EP. I always think "Okay, I'm going to message whoever after I'm done with this," but then I never do it. I've procrastinated on talking to people for days, weeks. and even months. I used to go on this blog pretty regularly where I made tons of friends. Basically, every night there'd be a post where there'd be a party in the comments section, but I became inactive after a while and just haven't been online since. It's been 10 months, and they all thought I was dead. I've checked recent posts and they all thought I died, since they could never imagine me just abandoning them, but I did, just because I was scared to face them. I made contact recently, but I still haven't been there for a week now. I'm doing it again.
I hate that I just constantly screw myself over with the stupidest things. Things that have made me unhealthy, made me lose friend, and even made my girlfriend leave me. I hate this and I need this to stop. This laziness. This state of not caring, but stressing out anyway. This constant cycle of feeling bad but never doing anything. I need the change, because if I don't, I won't be successful in life. No one got to where they wanted by sitting around and being lazy. No one. I need to change.
I just... I just don't know how.
It's not even just school that I procrastinate on, though. Brushing my teeth regularly has been a struggle for the same reasons as my homework. I just procrastinate time and time again but never get it done. I'm about 90% sure I have gingivitis, and that's not okay. Not at all. I'm planning to visit my dentist, but I shouldn't have had to have the need in the first place.
I procrastinate on my friends and close ones too, even on EP. I always think "Okay, I'm going to message whoever after I'm done with this," but then I never do it. I've procrastinated on talking to people for days, weeks. and even months. I used to go on this blog pretty regularly where I made tons of friends. Basically, every night there'd be a post where there'd be a party in the comments section, but I became inactive after a while and just haven't been online since. It's been 10 months, and they all thought I was dead. I've checked recent posts and they all thought I died, since they could never imagine me just abandoning them, but I did, just because I was scared to face them. I made contact recently, but I still haven't been there for a week now. I'm doing it again.
I hate that I just constantly screw myself over with the stupidest things. Things that have made me unhealthy, made me lose friend, and even made my girlfriend leave me. I hate this and I need this to stop. This laziness. This state of not caring, but stressing out anyway. This constant cycle of feeling bad but never doing anything. I need the change, because if I don't, I won't be successful in life. No one got to where they wanted by sitting around and being lazy. No one. I need to change.
I just... I just don't know how.
22-25, M
