31-35, F
GuyWithOpinions · 31-35, M
Take it day by day and do what you can. Find ways to gradually make it easier on yourself. The small things can add up.
Create a light at the end of the tunnel if you can. Have some sort of reassurances that this will end one day.
Hardships built character if you choose to learn from them.
Create a light at the end of the tunnel if you can. Have some sort of reassurances that this will end one day.
Hardships built character if you choose to learn from them.
Mamapolo2016 · F
I hope you find better answers than I did.
Let me say first you are not the first human that has faced this exact question. You are probably in the majority with people who have. Most survived. You can too.
I can give you what I learned, although I learned it the hard way and there are probably many better sources.
1. When a huge dark void opens at your feet, don’t leap into it. Don’t automatically decide you and you alone are responsible to fill it. Do what grieving you need to do. Don’t instantly take advice from those you’re not sure you trust, just because they suggest a certain path. There may be other directions to take.
2. If there are others involved, especially vulnerable others, take back your sense of capability by doing your best to protect them. Put into action the things you know how to do and do them.
3. Even when it seems impossible, claim time for you. Take a walk. Call someone who can offer calm and support. Scream into a pillow. Cry. Understand that whatever crisis you are facing is just that. A crisis. It’s not part of you. You are not the crisis. You are the stillness apart from the storm. Breathe. Eat. Sleep. If you can’t, find someone who can offer medical help. If I break a leg, I use a crutch. It’s not weakness. It’s logic. If you go down, there’s another crisis. Ask the doctor to recommend somewhere for mental health support. Follow up.
4. Don’t wait for others who should be supportive to offer it. Ask.
5. This is a great time for self-affirmation. “I cooked a meal. I did the dishes. That’s something good.”
6. It’s odd, but posture, physical and mental, helps. Slumped shoulders, falsely doubting your competence, are symbols of defeat. Don’t let it settle over you. Chin up, shoulders squared, eyes sharp.
7. Buzzards who think they help. If there’s a buzzard hovering over you, chase them away. “I don’t need to hear that now. If you can’t stop, leave. I am in a battle.”
8. Replace the buzzards with the sort of help you need. A lawyer, a doctor, a therapist, a pastor.
9. The internet. Search for support groups. The people there will understand your trouble. They are not experts, but veterans.
10. Do one thing at a time. Each time you accomplish a task it will strengthen you.
If I can help by listening, DM me.
Let me say first you are not the first human that has faced this exact question. You are probably in the majority with people who have. Most survived. You can too.
I can give you what I learned, although I learned it the hard way and there are probably many better sources.
1. When a huge dark void opens at your feet, don’t leap into it. Don’t automatically decide you and you alone are responsible to fill it. Do what grieving you need to do. Don’t instantly take advice from those you’re not sure you trust, just because they suggest a certain path. There may be other directions to take.
2. If there are others involved, especially vulnerable others, take back your sense of capability by doing your best to protect them. Put into action the things you know how to do and do them.
3. Even when it seems impossible, claim time for you. Take a walk. Call someone who can offer calm and support. Scream into a pillow. Cry. Understand that whatever crisis you are facing is just that. A crisis. It’s not part of you. You are not the crisis. You are the stillness apart from the storm. Breathe. Eat. Sleep. If you can’t, find someone who can offer medical help. If I break a leg, I use a crutch. It’s not weakness. It’s logic. If you go down, there’s another crisis. Ask the doctor to recommend somewhere for mental health support. Follow up.
4. Don’t wait for others who should be supportive to offer it. Ask.
5. This is a great time for self-affirmation. “I cooked a meal. I did the dishes. That’s something good.”
6. It’s odd, but posture, physical and mental, helps. Slumped shoulders, falsely doubting your competence, are symbols of defeat. Don’t let it settle over you. Chin up, shoulders squared, eyes sharp.
7. Buzzards who think they help. If there’s a buzzard hovering over you, chase them away. “I don’t need to hear that now. If you can’t stop, leave. I am in a battle.”
8. Replace the buzzards with the sort of help you need. A lawyer, a doctor, a therapist, a pastor.
9. The internet. Search for support groups. The people there will understand your trouble. They are not experts, but veterans.
10. Do one thing at a time. Each time you accomplish a task it will strengthen you.
If I can help by listening, DM me.
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Mamapolo2016 · F
@Lilnonames Thank you for reading! I see your support for my posts and I appreciate you.
Lilnonames · F
@Mamapolo2016 as i do you,we know each a long time,and im glad be your friend🤗
Mamapolo2016 · F
@Lilnonames Same here, honey. 😀
SleepingWithGhosts · 46-50, M
It's hard, and I feel for you. I know the feeling all to well.
It doesnt last. Just remember it's not forever
BrandNewMan · 61-69, M
Years into it with a failing marriage and now the divorce process.
Take care of your self, both physically and emotionally. Figure out what you want and start working toward that. See if there are lessons for you to learn about yourself from the experience.
Take care of your self, both physically and emotionally. Figure out what you want and start working toward that. See if there are lessons for you to learn about yourself from the experience.