Not Bashing -Only Explaining

I never quite fit in Christian circles
I don't have the typical background that many of my fellow believers seem to have.

I believe discipline ,working towards goals, and having a belief that everything will work out - just naturally leads to a productive life.


My life is not like that.
I started my life in a very chaotic and troubled household.
I would like to have peace, of course, but my mental illness, gets in the way of that peace.
I'm never comfortable anywhere public .

And when everybody starts talking about how wonderful their life is going -I can't relate.
Don't get me wrong I'm happy for people that have their life together.
Don't believe it is a matter of jealousy it's a matter of not fitting in.

People say it's better not to fit in, sometimes, but I wonder if that's just a life preserver we cling to as a justifying our own atypical behavior?
I'd like to be one of the people who fit in sometimes.
Because not fitting in leaves you with nothing to say really.


I'd like to add that I do not wish anyone to come on here and hate on any group this is about not fitting in and not about finding fault.